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Thread: The Peanut Gallery

  1. #1761
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robcore View Post
    Think of sports fans...they relate to their sports idols/rivals in a unilateral way all the time. They have a relationship to players that they love/hate which is entirely one sided. As such, no relationship exists for the player, who doesn't even know that the fan exists, all while the fan interacts regularly with the mental image that they have of the player.
    This is what I would call "Not a relationship".
    People think they understand their own mortality, even when that understanding has just changed.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  2. #1762
    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
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    An interpersonal/romantic relationship takes two to tango. It's not just abstractly sociological, in the manner you have a "relationship" with the guy who serves you coffee. That's not what was discussed. Your neighborhood obsessive stalker "relates" to you in a way, but not romantically.
    "All my heroes are dead" - John Zorn

    "It's not selfish if you hate yourself"

  3. #1763
    Moderator Thoth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oxyjen View Post
    Why are some resilient in the face of this adversity and why aren't others? Is there a way to enhance resiliency and healthy coping for those whose natural tendency is unhealthy coping?

    I think intps tend to rely on their romantic partner for an unhealthy proportion of their social needs, which leave them particularly vulnerable when a marriage ends.
    Maybe, but I think you could say it would be a case by case basis.

    In general I think most introverts rely on their partners for what can seem like disproportional needs. It's in our nature to generally require positive external interaction to come out of our own individuality. Without someone else eliciting a response we may never otherwise socially interact outside minimum requirements. To extroverts, for example, even small amounts of this behavior can come off as needy and exhausting while other introverts could fall into a cycle of social codependency.

    Quote Originally Posted by Robcore View Post
    Well if you're not at peace about it, you're still at least interacting with the thought of the person...which is almost indistinguishable from actual interactions since perception is a filter for all of that anyway.

    Think of sports fans...they relate to their sports idols/rivals in a unilateral way all the time. They have a relationship to players that they love/hate which is entirely one sided. As such, no relationship exists for the player, who doesn't even know that the fan exists, all while the fan interacts regularly with the mental image that they have of the player.

    It's my understanding that baggage is essentially the pieces of former relationships that we carry forward into other relationships...and in that sense, those relationships that we get the baggage from are not really over, since they're still affecting us.
    I mean, you don't say that you don't have a relationship with your friend anymore if you don't see them for a week, so interactions are not the complete metric.
    I'd hazard to guess your problem in the debate is your adherence to stoicism is coming off as dogmatic and not very realistic.

  4. #1764
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    In general I think most introverts rely on their partners for what can seem like disproportional needs. It's in our nature to generally require positive external interaction to come out of our own individuality. Without someone else eliciting a response we may never otherwise socially interact outside minimum requirements. To extroverts, for example, even small amounts of this behavior can come off as needy and exhausting while other introverts could fall into a cycle of social codependency.
    this is funny... in my experience it's the opposite. like if you switched "extrovert" and "introvert"

    In general I think most extroverts rely on their partners for what can seem like disproportional needs. It's in their nature to generally require positive external interaction to feel complete as individuals.
    ...
    To introverts, for example, even small amounts of this behavior can come off as needy and exhausting while other extroverts could fall into a cycle of social codependency.
    but really, this is about attachment styles. a preoccupied style person will come across as super needy to an avoidant style person. it's not introversion/extroversion IMO.

    maybe insecure attachment styles are associated with certain personality types though (using this term loosely).
    i sneeze like a grandpa.

  5. #1765
    Moderator Thoth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    this is funny... in my experience it's the opposite. like if you switched "extrovert" and "introvert"
    Perhaps I provided a bad example. What I meant is an introvert doesn't usually seek social interaction for no other reason than to socialize, in the most simplified sense, they have to be invited or made to feel comfortable to step up, meaning they're relying on another to welcome them into socialization. That requirement alone can seem needy to an extrovert who typically has no issue inserting themselves into socialization without any other dependency.

    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    maybe insecure attachment styles are associated with certain personality types though (using this term loosely).
    That's basically what I'm saying. There is no hard and fast all or nothing, I just think there is a tendency where individual behavioral inclinations align with certain attachment styles.

  6. #1766
    Cooler than Jesus
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    Are Robcore and Guess Who actually different people?

  7. #1767
    Senior Member Guess Who's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NedLudd View Post
    Are Robcore and Guess Who actually different people?
    In a sense we are the same person.

    I'd say that our views are converging because we are both plugged into and guided by the same spiritual force. The Christian terminology would be one in Christ.
    Big change is coming

  8. #1768
    Moderator Thoth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guess Who View Post
    In a sense we are the same person.

    I'd say that our views are converging because we are both plugged into and guided by the same spiritual force. The Christian terminology would be one in Christ.
    Then you're both not doing the guy any favors.

  9. #1769
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    almost starting to think this forum needs a #notallchristians to counter the caricaturing.
    i sneeze like a grandpa.

  10. #1770
    I love prostrating my friends in my bowl of holy water. They need Christ!
    abstractionist

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