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Thread: The Peanut Gallery

  1. #941
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pensive_pilgrim View Post
    Who's the "we"? I know it doesn't include me, I'm with the crazies.

    Seriously though, be the posts you wish to see.
    seems like the obvious path to me... this is the largest number of posts i have seen from her since joining...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

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    Quote Originally Posted by lethe View Post
    And if you want to keep going back and editing posts, you might want to delete any sections that can look like your are calling people names.

    Some people are sensitive, you know.
    I'm only editing​ typos (en masse), I'll stand by what I said, British profanity an all.

    Let's hear no more of it.

    *You're not worthy of another post. I don't even know what paragraph you're referring too, I've not long finished work, and I've smoked myself into a daze ..

  3. #943
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinny View Post
    I'm only editing​ typos (en masse), I'll stand by what I said.

    Let's hear no more of it.
    No more of editing? A new paragraph is a pretty big typo. But, ok.
    Don't remember changing this.

  4. #944
    Your Huckleberry lethe's Avatar
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    The paragraphs you add when you go back and edit your posts, after you see my post, like you JUST did there...

    It wasn't your change in punctuation that tipped me off, lol. Good smoke, I suppose. Enjoy!
    Don't remember changing this.

  5. #945
    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    I just realized that one of the walls around that medicine cabinet space is a good place for a chin-up bar. I could put a hollow wall anchor in that wall, and there's another hollow wall where the other end of the bar would be.
    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

  6. #946
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

  7. #947
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guess Who View Post
    I agree that we have very different perspectives. Thank you for asking. I am keen to hear your perspective and your thoughts on mine.



    God wants all people to live spiritually but humans desire freedom. Freedom is very attractive and desirable but ultimately not good for us because truth is one so freedom is really just the ability to choose from among a multitude of untruths and leads away from spiritual truth.

    God created humans as separate sexes for the purpose of helping us to overcome our desire for freedom and live spiritually.

    Women have a desire to submit to their husband's leadership but also a desire for freedom, which causes them to reject their husband's leadership. These two desires are in conflict. The more a woman submits to her husband's leadership, the weaker her desire for freedom becomes and the more spiritual she will become.

    Men have a desire to step up and provide leadership and take on responsibilities but also a desire for freedom, which causes them to shun leadership and responsibility. These two desires are in conflict. The more a man steps up and provides leadership and takes on responsibility, the weaker his desire for freedom becomes and the more spiritual he will become.

    The two have to be operating together. A woman submitting to a man who refuses to step up and provide good leadership will not work and a man stepping and trying to provide leadership to a woman who rejects his leadership won't work. Better leadership encourages better submission and so on. The process is ongoing and makes both parties less selfish and more spiritual.

    Men are failing badly as leaders and avoiding responsibilities. Look at all the deadbeat dads and commitment-phobe men out there. I want to emphasise that leadership is a form of service, not an opportunity to gain at the expense of others.



    No. Definitely not. No way. My thinking on this question is completely unrelated to my view of gender roles. I don't mean that he should relax them because Bastet is a member of "the weaker sex" who can't live up to his principles. I used the word relax because it is obvious that he is so attached to and dependent on his principles. I merely wanted to encourage him to make a small and gradual change that he could feel comfortable with.

    People are not autonomous in the sense that they are able to obtain all their own needs on their own. People need other people. Demanding that others act autonomously, put no demands on us, is possible to a degree in the case of colleagues and acquaintances. However, expecting autonomy in a romantic relationship is unrealistic and will limit and ultimately likely end such relationships.

    I am suggesting that he should relax (to the degree that he feels comfortable and with his SO's help) any principles that are not conducive to building strong relationships inside his romantic relationships on the grounds that such principles are not applicable and not conducive to romantic relationships. I suggested that his principles might be more like coping strategies to help him deal with other people rather than universal principles that should be applied in all cases.

    People are clearly not autonomous. If they were, he would not need to demand that they act autonomously. I suspect that he wants others to behave autonomously for his benefit because he finds non-autonomous behaviour difficult and stressful. That is the way he is. I fully understand and accept that. However, that is not the way that most people are. The reality is that most people want emotional interdependence and do not find a high degree of autonomy to be necessary or desirable. He should definitely keep applying his principles in day to day life because they are helping him, but I'd recommend that he relaxes his principles gradually in romantic relationships to open himself up a little to interpersonal connections in such relationships to allow the relationship to grow.

    I'm moving this out of @Ptah's blog and and I'm going to stop referring to him specifically, and try to move this discussion to relationships in general ... because that's just polite. I'll leave it up to him if he wants to remove anything already on his blog from his blog since it is his blog. (Same applies to moving sidetracks from other people's blogs...only difference is that if you aren't a mod you have to ask one of us to do it for you.)

    So you seem to imply that once you have achieved a commitment with a female, you are responsible for taking care of her no matter what, even if she can't live up to your standards of behavior. As long as she is willing to remain and willing to love you, getting rid of her is commitment phobia. All that is true...if you are talking about getting a pet.

    You ascribed the end of a relationship to the dearly held principles of the male party and recommended the suspension of said principles without knowing for certain what those principles were, and I cannot help but suspect that you place the blame where you do because subconsciously you find it difficult to hold females who are in a relationship responsible for anything.

    Your placement of freedom and spirituality on opposite ends of a continuum is a great way to frame religion. I choose freedom and all the responsibility that entails. I have no interest in any philosophy that does not hold me accountable for my actions. It works out that I find the concept of a God to be ludicrous. I understand why some people need to believe in a God though. Freedom and responsibility are two sides of the same coin and I think many spiritual people choose to embrace a different coin -- spirituality and forgiveness -- because it is the easy road, emotionally speaking. Man gives up his freedom to god in return for eternal care and forgiveness, and woman gives up freedom to husband in return for his care and forgiveness. (If there is, as I suspect, no god, the man in this chain is really getting duped.)
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

  8. #948
    Member Guess Who's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    I'm moving this out of @Ptah's blog and and I'm going to stop referring to him specifically, and try to move this discussion to relationships in general ... because that's just polite. I'll leave it up to him if he wants to remove anything already on his blog from his blog since it is his blog. (Same applies to moving sidetracks from other people's blogs...only difference is that if you aren't a mod you have to ask one of us to do it for you.)
    I agree. I also felt uncomfortable posting so much in his blog and so much about him specifically.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    So you seem to imply that once you have achieved a commitment with a female, you are responsible for taking care of her no matter what, even if she can't live up to your standards of behavior. As long as she is willing to remain and willing to love you, getting rid of her is commitment phobia. All that is true...if you are talking about getting a pet.
    Relationships do end. Sometimes that is good and necessary but if two people are in a marriage or long-term relationship with a view to marriage then they should invest time and effort in building the relationship to make it stronger and deeper.

    Sometimes my wife does things to hurt me and sometimes I do things to hurt my wife because of our selfish human nature and individual flaws and deficiencies. We are both in the process of an internal transformation to become better people through our relationship.

    There is no point in me getting rid of one selfish and flawed women to replace her with another selfish and flawed woman. All women and men are selfish and flawed. In close relationships, our selfish human nature and flaws give rise to problems, which produce conflict, which should lead to an internal transformation for the better. There are times when I stay with my wife to help her grow and there are times when she stays with me to help me grow. Ending relationships is usually about choosing to hold onto our selfish and flawed nature rather than making the internal changes we need to eliminate the source of the problem.

    For me, relationships serve a purpose - they transform individuals for the better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    You ascribed the end of a relationship to the dearly held principles of the male party and recommended the suspension of said principles without knowing for certain what those principles were, and I cannot help but suspect that you place the blame where you do because subconsciously you find it difficult to hold females who are in a relationship responsible for anything.
    Your hypothesis is wrong. I don't find it difficult to hold females responsible for relationship failings. Females are just as capable of being selfish and flawed as men. I am just insightful enough (collected enough data over a long period of time and gained sufficient experience) to be able to see what the problem is in this particular case.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    Your placement of freedom and spirituality on opposite ends of a continuum is a great way to frame religion. I choose freedom and all the responsibility that entails. I have no interest in any philosophy that does not hold me accountable for my actions. It works out that I find the concept of a God to be ludicrous. I understand why some people need to believe in a God though. Freedom and responsibility are two sides of the same coin and I think many spiritual people choose to embrace a different coin -- spirituality and forgiveness -- because it is the easy road, emotionally speaking. Man gives up his freedom to god in return for eternal care and forgiveness, and woman gives up freedom to husband in return for his care and forgiveness. (If there is, as I suspect, no god, the man in this chain is really getting duped.)
    Thanks, I better understand your position.
    On the wrong side of history

  9. #949
    fluctuating Obfuscate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    Your placement of freedom and spirituality on opposite ends of a continuum is a great way to frame religion. I choose freedom and all the responsibility that entails.
    it is very different from my view of religion... it is completely foreign to me everytime i see that sentiment...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie

  10. #950
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    Quote Originally Posted by pensive_pilgrim View Post
    Who's the "we"? I know it doesn't include me, I'm with the crazies.

    Seriously though, be the posts you wish to see.
    Agreed. I've obviously been lurking a lot since I first joined, but I really haven't seen a change. If anything there's less right-wing garbage, not that I'd advocate censorship. It's like the election has kind of exhausted the momentum that had been built up. I've also noticed less sexism (and racism) than before, frankly.

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