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Thread: Letting people explain things to you

  1. #31
    Member MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post



    I'm pretty good with this if the topic at hand is important and/or serious business. It's when it's pleasure and not one on one that I have a meltdown. Hell, my wife and daughter and me in one room sometimes feels like some kind of weird game of "get a word in edgewise before your memory stops functioning".

    But we're close. So when it's reached 1000 words to my 1 and I've now forgotten what I had to say, I just let them know... "HOLD THE PHONE!!!! Just wait.. I had something to say 10 minutes ago, but it's gone. Can I have a space to speak? Maybe? Oh.. nevermind. I don't even know what I have to say now and the context is long gone. Continue. I'll be in the corner reading the news if I'm needed."
    I don't know if people are telling me really personal things or I'm just so guarded that I'm staggered by what most people will tell acquaintances.

    I just got an image of you Ward Cleaver-ing behind a newspaper.

    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Same. I talk to people like that on a rather frequent basis (when I talk to people) and in my own family. It has actually produced some bad conversation habits like interrupting, which I then transfer to other people who don't deserve interruption. :/ It's not the kind of "I already know that" interruption, it's more like, "If I don't interrupt you now, I'm going to forget, or we'll be on another topic by then".
    I think these kind of interruptions, when meted out judiciously, really add to conversations. It's probably a detriment to my conversations to be so interruption resistant. I love when people just have to tell me something before they forget. In my mind I go, ''if I forget, then it's not important.'' Of course, my memory is starting to slow down a bit and now I have nothing to add because I forget everything while waiting for people to finish. Half of the time, instead of thinking of the next thing to say I'm chastising myself for thinking of the next thing to say instead of being a better listener. Then I just ask a question in a my-dog-ate-my-homework kinda way.

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  2. #32
    Member Mxx's Avatar
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    This quality is quickly becoming an excellent candidate for my red flag marker, when reasonable points are set aside (the person doesn't know me well enough to know that I have a good enough grasp of a subject matter).

    It tells me:
    a) What they know (or want me to think that they know)
    b) What they think I know (and what they want me to know)
    c) If they are completely underestimating me to the point of insult, or blatantly feeding a narrative that defies reality.

    It's a completely different story if I've asked them to explain or tell me something I do not know.

    Right now I'm quite comfortable dumping these people into the category of people I want nothing to do with. Anything I don't know, I'm quite capable of researching myself.

  3. #33
    push to stutardepid itch's Avatar
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    If it's annoying me, I shut it down. If it's only a bit annoying I tune out.

    If I think one is learning or benefiting from explaining something I already know, I will let one finish. If I can augment the explanation by echoing back something one might have left out of their own explanation then I will offer it.

    I have a friend who does this... to everyone all the time. I shut that one down aggressively.

    "Yuppppp. Yuuuuuuuuup yup yup yup YES I FUCKING KNOW."
    stupid pancakes.

  4. #34
    just dont think about it mhc's Avatar
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    I have a lot of experience in modelling and changing behaviour - if anyone wants help with this or anything else i am open to skypes or something
    Just look at the blue sky

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