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Thread: Succulents are boring

  1. #11
    Meatlord BarIII's Avatar
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  2. #12
    chaotic neutral shitpost
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    some of them look cool, like haworthia cooperi & varieties with translucent leaves

    they also match the climate here. i've seen some crazy attractive outdoors succulent gardens
    The most beautiful paintings in existence today are the ones which were not painted by anyone.

  3. #13
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Just looks like a bunch of plants to me. Plants are, as a category, boring (and "all the same") in my book, so....

  4. #14
    Member MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    Now I can't stop thinking about getting some succulents purely out of spite. Can I ride back from Home Despot w/ a massive potted Donkey's Tail bungee corded to my bike rack?

    Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

  5. #15
    Cashew peasant! Limes's Avatar
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    I bought one from the home depot and it died pretty quickly. Piece of fucking shit succulent. Fuck succulents.
    Well, there it is.

  6. #16
    Meatlord BarIII's Avatar
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    My cousin had donkey tails hanging from her living room ceiling in the 70s-80s. I liked it. My parents took one home and it lasted a long time before I decided we don't really have room for it and I threw it away.

    In the 70s I bought a jade plant from Korvette's. It lasted a decent amount of time and was probably my favorite plant.
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  7. #17
    <3 gator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyJungle View Post
    Now I can't stop thinking about getting some succulents purely out of spite. Can I ride back from Home Despot w/ a massive potted Donkey's Tail bungee corded to my bike rack?
    You call it Home Despot too!

  8. #18
    Cashew peasant! Limes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyJungle View Post
    Now I can't stop thinking about getting some succulents purely out of spite. Can I ride back from Home Despot w/ a massive potted Donkey's Tail bungee corded to my bike rack?
    I could see you with a Donkey's tail succulent affixed to the back of your fixie bike and a typewriter attached to the front.
    Well, there it is.

  9. #19
    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Haha, more like suck-ulents!




    Actually, I think I'm with @Ptah on this one--as far as not caring, or knowing this was a "trend"--though I do know enough about botany to be familiar with what succulents are.



    There's this one kind called a jade plant which is a succulent that evidently evolved to visually mimic shrubbery for some reason--it has leaf-like structures on top of a stem-like structure that is brown on the outside--which I find amusing to think about.

    It just seems like a really fucking weird thing for a plant to do. I don't really understand what the biological advantage of it would even be, but that question definitely goes well beyond my level of botany expertise.

    Sometimes I want to get one just so I could have people who come over to my house say "that's a nice shrub" and then triumphantly yell "No it's not, it's a succulent! I have deceived you, and you are a contemptible fool!"




    Other than that, though, I can't say I have an opinion about succulents in general.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

  10. #20
    I once bought a really fancy jade tree (a succulent) for a Chameleon setup. Was a female chameleon (female chameleons have a short lifespan) and when the chameleon died, I killed the fancy jade tree. Not on purpose, mind you. But apparently the best defense for the jade tree from my black thumb was to be locked behind the shield of Chameleon cage. I left it on the porch for a week, it rained a lot, it rotted and died. Fuck you succulents! The Myth is NOT TRUE! Even the most neglectful plant caretaker can over care for a succulent.
    Quote Originally Posted by whatloveihave View Post
    I don't find you a potential threat to human society, you're not crazy. Feces.

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