little classics that don't serve their own thread

[Mxx]

All women are diplomats, because all men are potential rogue nations - KOI.

Where is that from? Cause damn if I don't require a man with critical de-escalation training. And occasionally a taser gun.

[Mxx]

2. Neville had been waiting for half an hour when the CEO finally entered.

"I got you what you wanted. Here's your motherfucking trumpet, and now let me get out."

"Mind your language, young man" the CEO admonished. "We're not done quite yet, as you very well know."

"What do you mean we're not done, numbnut" Neville hissed. "I've killed them. Both that autistic shithead impression of a 'professor' as well that other douche. Here's the fucking trumpet. Let me go. You've been promising me paid vacation for 58 weeks now. I've counted, motherfucker."

"You're fired" the CEO said.

"Fucking FINALLY!" Neville replied, tucking under his arm the cardboard box he had prophylactically filled with his celebrity sex tape compilation and other personal belongings.

"You can pick up your compensation on the way out" the CEO shouted after him.

"Don't think I won't, asshole" Neville murmured to himself. The desk clerk was already waiting with his check. Three-hundred bucks. "I'm fucking underpaid", Neville thought. "I should look into that little business opportunity my cousin mentioned the other day."

Whistling Despacito, he got into his car, fully intent on spending his new riches on hookers and cocaine.

Not sure if it works without the context of the thread, but the timing and content were perfect.

[Mxx]

From the Describe an INTPx member's stripper routine thread:

@Limey would be exercising his "snuffle":

[Sinny]

"You walking embryo"

Haha, ahh.... Limeski productions.

[Mxx]

Sociopaths fart on the plane and then passive aggresively point their air nozzle onto their seat partner as though it was them.

Another Limey classic.

[Mxx]

I celebrate the entire catalog. Acoustic version for cuddling with my cat while drinking an oversized hot chocolate. #feminizationofAmerica

Warm and fuzzy post. Should have at least one of these in the Hall of Fame.

[Sappho]

I saw some Chinese sales site hotlinking music and graphics from my hosting once. They ignored my polite request to stop hotlinking, so I kept the filename, but changed the graphic (a background satin effect, used as wallpaper) to a picture of the student in-front of the tank in Tienneman square. woof, did that get changed quickly! Hotlinking stopped within a few hours.

.

[Mxx]

I enjoyed this little exchange:

@Robcore is so well-adjusted you just know he has 10 dead hookers in his basement

More likely I'd be trying to get those hookers to unionize. Canadian Union of Night Tramp Solicitors. Hopefully they'd take the anagram for what it is....tongue in...cheek.

Damn my joke has been robcore'd

Robcore /verb/
to rectify a bad situation in a wholesome manner
"It rained at my birthday party but everything was robcore'd when robcore showed up at my house with ice cream for everyone"