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Thread: ESFJ m-i-l

  1. #1
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    ESFJ m-i-l

    If we did the test side by side, we wouldn't answer a single question the same way. She's got a strong personality and so do I.
    She's dreamed her whole life of having a daughter, and she went total squee fest when we got engaged. We ended up eloping (because of her) and then informing her the wedding of her dreams -the social event of the decade if she had her way- was not going to happen.
    I introduced her to Myers Briggs, and she had a limited epiphany, but at some point, it must have occurred to her to be hurt that her son married her exact opposite. And her suspicions as to why are probably true. She's a control freak the likes of which you have never even imagined, but at the same time, she means well and is incredibly generous and nurturing. She really believes her way is the only right way, down in her bones...and she'll do anything in the world for you ... with strings and guilt attached.

    The issue is that when we are together, our happiness seems to be mutually exclusive.

    Anyone else have an ESFJ in their life? Have you found the common ground?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    If we did the test side by side, we wouldn't answer a single question the same way. She's got a strong personality and so do I.
    She's dreamed her whole life of having a daughter, and she went total squee fest when we got engaged. We ended up eloping (because of her) and then informing her the wedding of her dreams -the social event of the decade if she had her way- was not going to happen.
    I introduced her to Myers Briggs, and she had a limited epiphany, but at some point, it must have occurred to her to be hurt that her son married her exact opposite. And her suspicions as to why are probably true. She's a control freak the likes of which you have never even imagined, but at the same time, she means well and is incredibly generous and nurturing. She really believes her way is the only right way, down in her bones...and she'll do anything in the world for you ... with strings and guilt attached.

    The issue is that when we are together, our happiness seems to be mutually exclusive.

    Anyone else have an ESFJ in their life? Have you found the common ground?
    Disowned by my ESFJ father. No common ground whatsoever with him--he's my total opposite, something I understand but he doesn't.

  3. #3
    Member MacGuffin's Avatar
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    I have an ESFJ mother in law!

  4. #4
    Same. Luckily she is 5000+ miles away now. It's good but much like Dracula she never stays gone forever.

  5. #5
    gryffindor Hermione's Avatar
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    I don't have a good track record with them. And it's pretty boring, yes even the divorce part lol. But, on the positive side I have not killed any of them yet. I keep trying to tell myself that the supervisor at work is a human being (i.e. control freak, weirdo type) and still deserves to live even when she doesn't know what she's talking about and is simply wrong. Sometimes I do laser her with my eyes when she gets out of bounds, but mostly I ignore her well. I don't have the energy to do more than that.

  6. #6
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flurps View Post
    Same. Luckily she is 5000+ miles away now. It's good but much like Dracula she never stays gone forever.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I have an ESFJ mother in law!
    Holy crap. I wonder if people with ESFJ moms have a thing for INTPs. I guess you know exactly what I'm talking about then.

    Have you ever read this study
    http://www.cobal.org/sigilkitty/Crossculture-INTP.pdf

    about how our culture prefers ESFJ women and most dislikes INTP women. It's a fascinating read. I sent it to her.

  7. #7
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thevenin View Post
    Disowned by my ESFJ father. No common ground whatsoever with him--he's my total opposite, something I understand but he doesn't.
    I can't even comprehend an ESFJ dad.

  8. #8
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    My MIL might be ESFJ too. I'm not sure though. I'm not great at typing people. She has cried before because I don't say her by her name enough. She thought I was doing it on purpose because I didn't consider myself part of the family. I just don't say people's names very often.

  9. #9
    I have not met this MIL yet, although I did talk to her on the phone after our mother told her she was sorry that she was going to hell for being a Jew. Good times.

  10. #10
    gryffindor Hermione's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    I have not met this MIL yet, although I did talk to her on the phone after our mother told her she was sorry that she was going to hell for being a Jew. Good times.

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