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Thread: ESFJ m-i-l

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Hermione View Post
    In her defense, she meant it in the most sincere and concerned way possible. I imagine my mom put her hand on her shoulder and shed a tear as she broke the news.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    In her defense, she meant it in the most sincere and concerned way possible. I imagine my mom put her hand on her shoulder and shed a tear as she broke the news.
    This is amazing. And I think maybe my mom and your mom would get along.

    For example: When I was younger, I remember her saying, very solemnly, that a cousin's daughter who had moved in with her boyfriend had "chosen to live in sin." She was very concerned and moved. I bet she prayed extra when she saw how much I wasn't bothered.

  3. #13
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    In her defense, she meant it in the most sincere and concerned way possible. I imagine my mom put her hand on her shoulder and shed a tear as she broke the news.
    That was a very long week.

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Light Leak View Post
    My MIL might be ESFJ too. I'm not sure though. I'm not great at typing people. She has cried before because I don't say her by her name enough. She thought I was doing it on purpose because I didn't consider myself part of the family. I just don't say people's names very often.
    Sounds about like it. It's the eggshell covered path of undiscovered sensitivities and demands.

    Quote Originally Posted by MuseedesBeauxArts View Post
    This is amazing. And I think maybe my mom and your mom would get along.

    For example: When I was younger, I remember her saying, very solemnly, that a cousin's daughter who had moved in with her boyfriend had "chosen to live in sin." She was very concerned and moved. I bet she prayed extra when she saw how much I wasn't bothered.
    lol - I imagine they would consume each other in the end.

  5. #15
    unbeknownst Lilith's Avatar
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    Yeah, an ESFJ sister. We don't really get along well even when we were young. But I guess, sometimes family means you need to get along with them because they're family despite the annoyance. We grew up pretty distant. She's 4 years older and we basically have nothing in common. I bore her, she bores me.

    But like what was mentioned, they're generous and nurturing. She said the thing that will make her happiest is when she'll be a mother. She's very fashionable and likes to dress to impress. It's like a given trait. She dreams of having a family with a hardworking husband who buys her shoes and bags because those are the things that'll make her happy. In return, she'll be a dutiful wife. I think this is a conditioned thinking and I couldn't really blame her. So, I just kind of accept that this is how she operates. But really sometimes, she's being impossible. She can also be very manipulative and guilt trips me to get what she wants. While she can be controlling in the house, I find that she doesn't really have a good sense of purpose. Like she wanted everyone to be kind to each other but refused to understand why someone is behaving this way and that just because she feels it a responsibility to.

    I know oftentimes I'm mean to her. She's always persistent. And if I don't agree with her, I realized that the best thing to do to let the topic/idea die, is to firmly say no to her face and walk away. I'm not sure if I can handle an ESFJ MIL :/ Okay, well at least I don't have to live with her...

  6. #16
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    I have not met this MIL yet, although I did talk to her on the phone after our mother told her she was sorry that she was going to hell for being a Jew. Good times.
    Thanks for mentioning that in front of dad btw. Now he's going to be all Hank Hill embarrassed around them.

    On a side note, I've got mom on the headset right now. She's not stopped talking for at least 15 minutes. I don't even have to say "uh huh" every once in a while any more. There is just an unspoken understanding that she will talk, and I will not. She just listed the ingredients of every juicer meal she's ever juiced in minute detail.

  7. #17
    NC-17 Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mccrissanth View Post
    Yeah, an ESFJ sister.
    I also have one. To call our relationship rocky would be kind....to dangerously rocky areas. I would have to say she is both the most awesome, and absolute worst person to deal with in my entire life.
    You're using big words right now that you don't know the meaning of and you're capitalizing them. You shouldn't do that. ~Osito

  8. #18
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    I also have one. To call our relationship rocky would be kind....to dangerously rocky areas. I would have to say she is both the most awesome, and absolute worst person to deal with in my entire life.
    I'm actually glad to hear you pair the good with the bad. I have a pair of nieces who are siblings that I think will likely feel exactly this way about each other. I don't have sisters, so it is hard for me to really judge if they are going to get along when they grow up. Perhaps over time my mil will become one of my most fierce advocates, even as she makes me insane. I think I can picture that as an acceptable outcome. One thing you can say about an ESFJ...you don't want them as enemies. Best I remain on her side, right?

  9. #19
    NC-17 Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    I'm actually glad to hear you pair the good with the bad. I have a pair of nieces who are siblings that I think will likely feel exactly this way about each other. I don't have sisters, so it is hard for me to really judge if they are going to get along when they grow up. Perhaps over time my mil will become one of my most fierce advocates, even as she makes me insane. I think I can picture that as an acceptable outcome. One thing you can say about an ESFJ...you don't want them as enemies. Best I remain on her side, right?
    Oh, most definitely. I have been on my sisters bad side many times and it can be extremely unpleasant, for everyone in a five mile area. Hell, I don't like to be anywhere near her when she is in the company of those on her bad side.
    Although, I know I make her as angry as she can make me. My indifference (or coldness)and ability to ignore her tirades (which makes me the envy of many in my family) absolutely infuriates her. We are definitely opposing forces of nature, everyone is happier when we get along.
    You're using big words right now that you don't know the meaning of and you're capitalizing them. You shouldn't do that. ~Osito

  10. #20
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Oh, most definitely. I have been on my sisters bad side many times and it can be extremely unpleasant, for everyone in a five mile area. Hell, I don't like to be anywhere near her when she is in the company of those on her bad side.
    My mil's sister is also an ESFJ. They didn't speak to each other for 12 years until their mom's funeral this week, and the goal of the entire family throughout the funeral and all the social gatherings before and aft was to keep at least 3 bodies between them at all times. They stood next to each other and pretended to smile long enough for their mom to see them together before she died.

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