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Thread: Stream of Consciousness

  1. #1
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    Stream of Consciousness

    hey assholes whatchu doin. that was a fake period, there aren't any periods in my stream of consciousness hahahaha that's also a fake laugh idk what to say right now what kind of punctuation am i supposed to be using to help you understand me (?) but i don't care cuz the point is more like expressing myself you know. honestly that was a real period. i wanna say something that i'll find funny so i can laugh cuz i really need laughter, oh but i feel better cuz i feel my bloating slowly going away. i was bloating cuz i forgot to eat lunch and that's what happens when you skip meals either deliberately or not deliberately you know???? fuck you but thank you for reading and feel free to write your own shit.
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    it's kinda like poetry but i don't write poetry, so maybe it's more like making little sketches of things, little paintings, and you're telling yourself who gives a shit about how it comes out, it doesn't have to be entertaining as long as it's entertaining for you writing it, but i go back and forth anyway between being self-conscious and dgaf which imo is the ideal life philosophy. i'm listening to people argue right now and i wish they'd kill each other but then i'd have to clean up a mess and it'd likely attract a lot of ants. idk if i should have some sort of word count minimum for every post in this thread cuz maybe that's how you'd get the most out of this as an exercise. who gives a shit though? my keys are to the side of me and i've got a cup of syrup that i could've spelled cyrup cuz cup starts with a c but i could make it ctart with an s, if i really really wanted to. man, fuck you. you'll never be as good as a chicken. you'll never be as consistent and as reliable as a chicken in terms of emotional support. i can't explain to you how that works, it's something you have to experience for yourself my dude.
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    somebody asked me if i liked the smell of chicken shit and i said i did cuz it smells like the earth but truthfully that's only if it's been aged for a while and it's broken down into being the shit of the earth instead of just being fresh chicken shit cuz that stuff can burn your nose, but still i smell it every morning and it's not that bad when you're motivated by love. if i end up being the only person who is ok with posting my mostly raw unprocessed thoughts, it's just gonna feel like dying, like everybody dies alone, and i think when i finally die my mind will be racing and everything will make sense even if nothing was making sense for years and years. i imagine my mind will be young again and i'll understand everything that's happening to me, and maybe i'll even be feeling every pain i've ever felt all at once and i'll be in shock unable to communicate any part of that. that's what it must feel like if your life is flashing before your eyes. but would i also be feeling every joy i've ever felt? i really wonder what this all says about me. i hope somebody tells me but i'll only accept an analysis if it's presented to me in a way that does justice to the original effort and stays within the confines of the game even though this isn't a game unless it is a game where winners and losers are done away with and the game is only about the motion and the concept of going in a direction that never ends and you must deal with some obstacles and limitations consistent with a theme, like the board game i was making a few months ago where all the pieces just go back into the earth, no waste.
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    the true value of this i think is allowing myself to think about whatever the fuck i wanna think about when it feels like the entire world wants a piece of my brain and my attention put on them, like sometimes your mind isn't your own, it's space for another person's thoughts that they're forcing you to listen to and consider and process, and that all takes a lot of energy, dealing with somebody else's thoughts and creations and messages. where's the escape? nothing i could say in the next few sentences or maybe the rest of my life wasn't taken from someone or something else that existed outside of myself (which isn't real). everything comes from an external influence. people are driven by a few key motivations i think, escape is just one of them, control, experience or adventure, security, wanting to make one's mark and impress upon the world one's sense of morality. i wonder if that last one is actually a desire for power. it's just gonna bother most of them as they wouldn't appreciate that characterization, they want you to believe they're good. thinking about those categories i already know what kind of person i am but now i'm wondering what creates a person, what creates a character. is it a drive towards balance that all humans are instinctively driven towards? i want to think that cuz it's an elegant thought.
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  5. #5
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    da da da dada hey! dada dada
    I fucking hate the cold! - Wim Hof

    Check out my art. https://www.instagram.com/karililt/

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by kali View Post
    da da da dada hey! dada dada
    i don't believe you but i'm reminded of my life inspo. i make similar-type noises in the shower to drown out the dread of living.

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    the TA just said "it looks like you did a lot of work" lolololo ha ha ha ha aha h i do that cuz i'm so nervous but that's crazy and i just said "yeah i have a lot of ideas i just need to get them all out in the beginning, sorry" but only creative types understand that sort of diarrhea, it's not bad at all, it's just bad if you have to give a more formal presentation but luckily today wasn't like that. i'm worried about sylvia getting bored; <- semicolon like a proper motherfucker. that doesn't work. should i get her bird toys? all the chicken toys i've seen involve giving chickens treats but i wish there were more ways to stimulate them that didn't involve food and potentially fucking up their nutritional balance. prudence's poos have been looking really healthy. i wonder if socialization does that, like having her social life improve suddenly got rid of her diarrhea. i guess diarrhea is only good if it's humans? figuratively speaking. ok i should do more work but i'm considering skipping class tomorrow cuz i'm tired but i know i'll just work for a few hours and most likely go. it's too much work to have ready for tomorrow but either way i still have to do it, not going makes no difference. too bad my immediate thoughts aren't brilliant.
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    when i visualize my thoughts + inner voice i just see a bunch of circles joining into other circles, sorta like a spiral i guess, but really it's like futurist doggy feet.

    Late night existential high-five.
    there's no high-five emoticon (wtf!) so here i am high-fiving myself and one hand moves on your behalf.
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  9. #9
    Goon Roolz itch's Avatar
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    But there is!!

    stupid pancakes.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by itch View Post
    But there is!!

    my jaw just dropped irl lmaoooooo
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