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Thread: The Poo Thread

  1. #1
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    The Poo Thread



    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    Spoiler: x


    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?

    9. your preferred euphemism?

    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called? (contributed by attila_the_hunny)

    11. Sit, stand, or lean and break the fucking seat? (contributed by Hephaestus)
    ^ note: while wiping, not pooping

    12. Do you prefer to poop naked? Shirtless? Or just take your chances with discomfort? (contributed by Hephaestus)

    what other poo questions am i forgetting? anything else you'd like to add?

    edit: LOL i meant to post this in the health sub, oops.
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 11-16-2017 at 02:06 AM.
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  2. #2
    Member attila_the_hunny's Avatar
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    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    Sausage-shaped, but lumpy.

    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?
    Not very. I eat a lot of fiber rich foods. Coffee and nicotine in the morning also help.

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?
    Crumpled

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.
    I have a squatty potty, so both?

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?
    Open. I maintain if you haven't heard your partner fart, it's not a real relationship.

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?
    Pretty open. I worked in a nursing home for a while as a CNA so I think that plays a part in it. Bodily functions just by description don't have the ability to gross me out. I will warn any people I pooped if they're on their way to use the bathroom after me.

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?
    No, but I have been in a tent with an attached bathroom. So basically only a flap between us. If I gotta shit, I gotta shit.

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?
    Not really.

    9. what other poo questions am i forgetting? anything else you'd like to add?

    Something about smell would be fun. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called?

    Parfum de Mon Cul
    Parfum Manges un Pet


    I'm disgusting and I accept that part of myself.
    Last edited by attila_the_hunny; 11-13-2017 at 04:24 PM.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by attila_the_hunny View Post
    If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called?

    Parfum de Mon Cul
    Parfum Manges un Pet
    hahah nice, i'm gonna keep adding questions as they come up and give credit.

    Open. I maintain if you haven't heard your partner fart, it's not a real relationship.
    i say the same thing!

    ...lol, high-fiving over poo.
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    1. sausage-shaped with cracks on surface

    2. i'm mostly not, but when i'm a little plugged up, i get some vegetable ramen at this one ramen place and for some reason that particular dish solves it.

    3. wadded

    4. definitely squat, but i can only do this when i'm traveling.

    5. open fart policy. i was in a long-term relationship once where i kept my farts in for years, though. there was/is something wrong with that, imo.

    6. i think i'm moderately open, like i wish poo was talked about more as a health issue (that's why i made this) but i don't go out of my way. sometimes people comment on how fast my shits are. for some reason my SO is always amazed cuz "that was so fast." i do eat a lot of fiber-rich foods and when my schedule is consistent, i need to go at the very same time every day, on the dot. it's freaky.

    7. yeah, my mom was in the family restroom with me when we were at arches national park and i needed to go. i've also probably taken a shit with my SO in the bathroom, but don't remember. i don't like being looked at or making eye contact during.

    8. not really... at the time of the above (arches national park) i thought that was the most interesting circumstance/setting. i was keeping a ~regulation journal~ at the time, documenting places i've shit, but i didn't keep that up, so maybe i don't remember the most interesting place.

    9. taking a shit. when i need to be more discreet, i'll whisper "number two" to my SO. lol

    i'm still thinking on the perfume name-- i might come back to that later.

    edit: 10. thought of a fancy-ish name, "black gold" which is what chicken poo is called as it's very good for making compost.

    i imagine my perfume having honeyed floral notes in it.
    Last edited by jigglypuff; 11-13-2017 at 05:08 AM.
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  5. #5
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?

    I need a translation key. Probably somewhere between 1 and 4, depending on the moment in the day.

    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?

    I poop 3 to 4 times a day, so not at all.

    Beer is pretty good at getting things going. I find Fiber One a bit aggressive, but less of a... crap-shoot, than say, Magnesium Citrate. That'll antagonize your vagus nerve something fierce.

    Mild lactose intolerance is an advantage in that I can pretty much guarantee a movement by eating a tub of cottage cheese or a proper milkshake--though it will leave my anus angry.

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?

    Depends on the brand. Good, soft, strong, fluffy and absorbent stuff like Cottonelle, I'll just fold it over once. If the paper is fluffy but weak, like Angel Soft or (<deity help you>) Quilted Northern, I wad. If I'm stuck with Scott's brand sandpaper, I crumple and wad to reduce risk of bleeding, and maximize the peaks and valleys to minimize contact with my heinie while maximizing how much gets cleared out.

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.

    Yes. I use a poop box if I can.

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?

    Absolutely open fart. I fart freely and with abandon, and blame it on passing ducks.

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?


    Any good meal includes casual discourse of cooking, food, and pooping.

    If I'm with someone who just had one of those nigh religious experiences that left them a little light headed, happy and relaxed, I would love to hear about it. The more inappropriate the context is for telling the story, the more I want to hear it right then.

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?

    Yeah. Family. Friends if you include camping/hiking assists, and strangers if you include public restrooms. And yes I could do it again.

    What I have issue with is wiping in front of people. That's a private moment.

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?

    Fred Meyer bathrooms lean toward Trainspotting bad.

    I once had a terrible experience in a Home Depot. I did not poop there, because I literally could not. I walked in and the miasma made me retch. There was a dude pooping liquid squirts, and I don't know how he managed not to die given how close he was to ground zero in the stall next to him. In that stall was a loaf about the size of a one liter bottle of soda, cracks on the surface. Tip above the fucking rim.

    I don't know why, but I tried to flush it--sometimes it works. In this case, it just blasted a new wave of fecal stench into the air and I fled as fast as I could hobble out of there, trying not to vomit.

    I stopped a guy and his two young boys from going in there. Probably saved a life.

    I notified the staff, and they promised to leave a note for the morning manager because the janitor had gone home for the day. It was midafternoon.


    I've pooped at the Space Needle.

    The Little America truckstop in Wyoming had nice bathrooms when I was there.

    9. your preferred euphemism?

    All of them? I can't pick. Depends on the nature of the beast and my mood.

    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called? (contributed by @attila_the_hunny)

    Ass Quacks

    edit: LOL i meant to post this in the health sub, oops.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

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  6. #6
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    My mood? #6. Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, mushy.

    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?
    I'm pretty much always somewhere on the constipated spectrum. It's not because of lack of fiber. I do eat lots of fiber. My intestines are just scarred to hell because of issues that are now under control other than the permanent scarring. No miracle foods for me. I rely mostly on senekot and miralax when I'm plugged up... or in extreme cases magnesium citrate.

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?
    Wadded up.

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.
    Squat. I have a squatty potty and also a travel one that I bring along with me when I'm out of town. If I happen to be somewhere without my squatty potty, I pull my knees up to my chest and sort of hug them.

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?
    Open fart.

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?
    With family or close enough friends I don't have a problem sharing details of my poo. I'm not going to just start talking about my poop with random strangers or anything.

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?
    No. I'm a shy pooper. I prefer to be alone.

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?
    Can't think of any.

    9. your preferred euphemism?
    I guess I use the word 'shit' a lot. If it's a big one I call it a dump. I don't know that those are my favorite. There are are funnier ones. Those are just the ones I tend to use.

    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called?
    My husband refers to them as 'Breeze off a turd'. Seems like a good name to me.

  7. #7
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    I think about half of my conversation with the ISFJ is about poop and farts, mine or his or the kid's.

    There's something very comforting about it - it's intimate but light-hearted.

    This also remind me of the comic... what was it? DAR? http://www.darcomic.com/

    I seem to remember a whole storyline about her farts.
    Too bad, Lady Une. You were far too lenient.
    As a soldier, yes. But as a civilian I lived an austere life.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    Spoiler: x
    Type 5 mood. I'm chill'n
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?
    1 - 10 I'd say 3. Slightly less solid than I'd like and hinting a bit too much of my love affair with jalapenos.
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?
    Wadded/crumpled. Folding is for psychos!
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.
    Sitting and pondering the animations from the squaty potty commercial.

    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?
    Open fart policy, but if it's a silent/deadly release of toxins all bets are off regarding consequences.
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?
    If it's interesting, sharing is caring.
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?
    Yes. Many many many many times. I mean, for one, my dog/cat/wife seem to think me sitting on the thrown is a goddamn invitation. But outside that, I've spent time in the field in my youth shitting in community roman style cutouts lined up in a mass outhouse sans walls wearing a gas mask to avoid the maggot ridden toxins inseminating from said cutouts. So.. yeah. Spell checker changed emanating to inseminating there. I left it cause it made me chuckle.
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?
    See above.
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    9. your preferred euphemism?
    Dump
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called? (contributed by @attila_the_hunny)
    Typically, I'm a loud but odorless kind of gasser. Ghostly Screams?
    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    my crime is that i disrupted the echo chamber

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    But outside that, I've spent time in the field in my youth shitting in community roman style cutouts lined up in a mass outhouse sans walls wearing a gas mask to avoid the maggot ridden toxins inseminating from said cutouts. So.. yeah. Spell checker changed emanating to inseminating there. I left it cause it made me chuckle.
    this just reminded me of some other places i've shit, namely there was one public semi-outdoors squat toilet when i was traveling in china that was basically a long half-pipe and the only thing dividing you were these short tiled walls. so people could actually see you shitting/peeing if they walked by in front (i guess it's more courteous not to walk that way) but you couldn't see the person to either side of you.

    lul bathroom design. that's probably the most extreme i've done in terms of having no privacy.

    + i just remembered another little detail. once i was lined up for the bathroom (china) and there was a tour guide standing by the line giving everyone a drop of this really strong minty ointment that you're supposed to smear on right under your nose so you couldn't smell the bathroom. that was interesting...
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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    this just reminded me of some other places i've shit, namely there was one public semi-outdoors squat toilet when i was traveling in china that was basically a long half-pipe and the only thing dividing you were these short tiled walls. so people could actually see you shitting/peeing if they walked by in front (i guess it's more courteous not to walk that way) but you couldn't see the person to either side of you.

    lul bathroom design. that's probably the most extreme i've done in terms of having no privacy.

    + i just remembered another little detail. once i was lined up for the bathroom (china) and there was a tour guide standing by the line giving everyone a drop of this really strong minty ointment that you're supposed to smear on right under your nose so you couldn't smell the bathroom. that was interesting...
    LOL - It's no different than overcoming stage fright, am I right? Once you've done it a few times it's just a new norm. lol
    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    my crime is that i disrupted the echo chamber

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