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Thread: The Poo Thread

  1. #11
    6 2 and 3 are my favorite kinds

  2. #12
    malarkey oxyjen's Avatar
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    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    sausagey and cracked


    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?
    coffee and more coffee. Things are generally firm for me but not in the realm of constipated usually, unless pregnancy

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?
    wadded up. what sort of J types are meticulously folding up their ass paper

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.
    sit because it's what I've always done. I think my legs would be in better shape if I had to squat and poop over a hole like they do in some other countries. Plus maybe my husband wouldn't disappear to "poop" for 20 minutes in the bathroom if he had to squat in place the whole time

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?
    Every relationship, given enough time, has to be an "open fart" policy right? Please tell me there are no couples in their 80's that have been married for fifty years and they are still holding in farts. Open fart policy for me starts after we've been having sex, but before we say we love each other (I think, farting has never made a mental mark on my relationship timeline)

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?
    I am the queen of TMI. My husband can brush his teeth while I'm using the toilet if he wanted. But he would rather not.

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?
    my kids all the damn time, but I suppose they don't count. my husband while he was in the shower.

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?
    nah

    9. your preferred euphemism?
    pretty much exclusively say "poop." I hate the phrase "take a shit," the word choice made it 3000x more disgusting

    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called? (contributed by @attila_the_hunny)
    eau de sulfure

  3. #13
    Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    I seem to be the only folder.

    How can you possibly wipe your ass with confidence with a ball of toilet paper?
    "I'm just here so I won't get fined.."

  4. #14
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    I fold.

    I also spit on the clean(!) multi-layer square if I feel like I need a little more moisture to my wipe.

  5. #15
    Meatlord BarIII's Avatar
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    I fold.

    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

  6. #16
    facta non verba interprétation erronée's Avatar
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    my euphemism for over-emotive explosions of emotiveness (aka shitting on the innocent) in forum posts is called being stuck.

    ahem.
    v
    Quote Originally Posted by stuck View Post
    Fuck man, interprétation erronée, you're a pile of shit.


  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    I seem to be the only folder.

    How can you possibly wipe your ass with confidence with a ball of toilet paper?
    Dude, I've tried folding. No. I've not read a study or done a study, but I'm thinking folding creates way too smooth of a surface to dig out the tar. You need the rough edges of a wad to move that shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by whatloveihave View Post
    I don't find you a potential threat to human society, you're not crazy. Feces.

  8. #18
    Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    Dude, I've tried folding. No. I've not read a study or done a study, but I'm thinking folding creates way too smooth of a surface to dig out the tar. You need the rough edges of a wad to move that shit.
    A) Ever seen inception? A fold within a fold within a fold -- When I fold, you have to fortify the toilet paper in order to withstand the impact of contact.

    B) You gotta use that middle finger to guide the ship, like the toiler paper is a TIE fighter which you must carefully maneuver through the narrow passageways of a shit filled deathstar trench.

    How can one effectively reach all the nooks and crannies with an unorganized wad?
    Last edited by Stigmata; 11-15-2017 at 08:41 PM.
    "I'm just here so I won't get fined.."

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    A) Ever seen inception? A fold within a fold within a fold -- When I fold, you have to fortify the toilet paper in order to withstand the impact of contact.

    B) You gotta use that middle finger to guide the ship, like the toiler paper is a TIE fighter which you must carefully maneuver through the narrow passageways of a shit filled deathstar trench.

    How can one effectively reach all the nooks and crannies with an organized wad?
    I can't help but think there's a lot of Europeans snickering at the archaic nature of the wad and/or fold vs the bidet. I confess to searching amazon for bidet options no less than 5 times in the last 6 months. I'm tired of wiping my own ass wadded or no.

    (I've always been leery of whether or not a bidet is sanitary though... I mean, shit piles up on that equipment over time right? Toilet paper, folded or not, is flush and forget. Something about a bidet gives a sense of using used toilet paper)
    Quote Originally Posted by whatloveihave View Post
    I don't find you a potential threat to human society, you're not crazy. Feces.

  10. #20
    chaotic neutral jigglypuff's Avatar
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    ^ i have a bidet toilet seat and it’s great for rinsing afterwards but i still wipe. can’t go walking around with my ass all wet.

    i guess it does make the question obselete, but bidets aren’t that common here so yah. some also have an air-dry (!) feature, but that to me doesn’t feel clean.

    shit wouldn’t pile up on the equipment, cuz i’m pretty sure the little stick that shoots water out only comes out when you press the button? now that i think of it there might be different mechanisms for “front” & “back” rinsing options that my toilet seat has, but i wouldn’t go check cuz my face would get wet.
    The most beautiful paintings in existence today are the ones which were not painted by anyone.

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