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Thread: The Poo Thread

  1. #31
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    lol Heph... yeah i thought you meant pooping. i stand to wipe. in my head, this is happening in a public restroom and i don’t want my hand anywhere near the toilet water. at home i use the bidet to rinse, then i probably sit to wipe cuz it’s dripping. i don’t remember exactly but that seems most logical.
    the clouds in the sky caress my mind so tenderly

  2. #32
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oxyjen View Post
    I am an asshole leaner-wiper, though I can't recall ever breaking a toilet seat. It's imperative to wipe front to back and you have to do the side lean to avoid getting your arm and hand so low that it might accidentally touch toilet water.

    There's a reason for the madness.

    If you try to wipe when standing, the cheeks don't spread as easy to get a quick clean swipe.
    There's a hip-tilt half squat that I use that works just fine for me. When I was nearly 100lbs heavier, I'd use my free hand to pull one cheek aside. But I understand staying out of the bowl--one knuckle comes back dirty and you adapt stat.
    Every master plan has one overarching contingency that will be required for success: desenrascanço. In light of this, it is tempting to skip the planning phase and just make desenrascanço your master plan. I don't recommend this, but it has worked out for me in the past to an alarming degree. The problem is it keeps you too focused on the short term to ever improve your situation in the long.
    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  3. #33
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    I just use a flushable wet wipe when I need to make sure I'm clean. Or if I'm not at home I have been known to dampen a piece of TP.

  4. #34
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Light Leak View Post
    I just use a flushable wet wipe when I need to make sure I'm clean. Or if I'm not at home I have been known to dampen a piece of TP.
    Known to? Who knew? Do you gather spectators in preparation? That's fricken weird, Light Leak!
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

  5. #35
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LordLatch View Post
    Known to? Who knew? Do you gather spectators in preparation? That's fricken weird, Light Leak!
    No spectators. I've told people I do this before so they know.

  6. #36
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Light Leak View Post
    No spectators. I've told people I do this before so they know.
    Then they don't really know. They take your word for it. Maybe you just say that to get popular.
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

  7. #37
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LordLatch View Post
    Then they don't really know. They take your word for it. Maybe you just say that to get popular.
    I didn't realize that was something that would make me popular. Maybe I should start telling more people.

  8. #38
    ..you don't know me LordLatch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Light Leak View Post
    I didn't realize that was something that would make me popular. Maybe I should start telling more people.
    You are going to need one of these. Then you'll be a real head turner.
    Stand clear of the closing doors, please.

  9. #39
    chaotic neutral shitpost jigglypuff's Avatar
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    if you've ever wanted to learn japanese, here you go



    “In the future, I want to work at the poop research center in America.” Or, “I was sleepy but then I pooped and my head started to work.”
    of course.

    i love how the little writing fields are poo-shaped.
    the clouds in the sky caress my mind so tenderly

  10. #40
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    1. which type of stool from the chart below describes your mood today?
    Spoiler: x


    4

    2. how constipated are you? any miracle foods/dishes you rely on when you're plugged up?

    I don't get constipated but I think it's because of my ass muscles not my diet. I have hard poo sometimes

    3. folded or wadded up / crumpled?

    wad

    4. sit or squat? feel free to elaborate on why.

    sit, I don't like my butt going where my feet have been.

    5. "open fart" policy in relationships, or "keep that shit to yourself" ?

    open fart

    6. ^ same question as above, but when it comes to poo, how much do you keep to yourself?

    i talk about anything worthy of mention

    7. have you ever taken a shit with another person in the room? who was it? could you do it again?

    yeah, he was in the shower and didn't want me to, I didn't care. it was my dad.

    8. any notable places you've taken a shit?

    none memorable

    9. your preferred euphemism?

    none

    10. If you had your farts bottle into perfume/cologne, what would it be called?

    CB I hate perfume "this is why"

    11. Sit, stand, or lean and break the fucking seat?

    I don't remember

    12. Do you prefer to poop naked? Shirtless? Or just take your chances with discomfort?

    no preference.

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