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Thread: Do you have a criminal record?

  1. #11
    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    I almost forgot, I stole two books from my grade school library. One isn't good for kids and I threw it out. I want to get in the school and go to the library to return the other one. I found the room number a few years ago. I could technically get arrested but I plan on trying.
    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

    "You look late twenties" - LordLatch

  2. #12
    facta non verba interprétation erronée's Avatar
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    I remember when BarIII was working at taco bell and I came in to buy 1 taco. He berated me for being black and then I called the cops on him for berating me for being black. Apparently he hates blacks because one of the cops was a British black woman and he called her a big butt uniform niggler. BarIII hates blacks and all British women. He's an indefensible bastard whose dirty reputation invalidates HappyNoodle's and everyone else's anti shit-starter arguments.

    You racist bastard. I just wanted 1 taco to feed my hungry black belly.

    He should be in jail for this!
    I need 100 people to donate 1 cent to help me buy a taco. https://www.gofundme.com/help-a-black-boy-buy-a-taco
    Quote Originally Posted by Limes View Post
    Jan Bonclay
    “If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.” ― Malcolm X

  3. #13
    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    You got the story all wrong. I thought you people only eat at McDonalds and KFC and I was trying to help you. I didn't turn you away because we needed the business so we could buy more Pat Boone records. I was in the process of forming the meat into patties for you, but it's hard because taco meat is greasy. Then, before I know it, I see these cops and I try one of my new lines on the black cop. They like when you notice their butts.
    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

    "You look late twenties" - LordLatch

  4. #14
    facta non verba interprétation erronée's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BarIII View Post
    They like when you notice their butts.
    This is true. Look at the model's face.
    Quote Originally Posted by Limes View Post
    Jan Bonclay
    “If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.” ― Malcolm X

  5. #15
    know nothing pensive_pilgrim's Avatar
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    I had a couple jobs I didn't get because of my record. It might be because one of the crimes I was convicted of is a felony, even though it was legally treated as a misdemeanor in my case. (Identity theft. I was 18 and liked to steal)

    Most of the jobs I've had don't do background checks though.

  6. #16
    Member DaDaMan's Avatar
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    I have a charge (culpable homicide as a result of a motor vehicle accident) against my name but the matter is still in court so no conviction....yet. The charge and the whole case is complete rubbish and goes against the facts, but unfortunately I live in a dysfunctional country with a dysfunctional legal system. Yes, most employers do do a full background check on you so it is usually best to be honest with them. Luckily I am a techie and have a skillset that is in high demand and short supply, so the fact that I have a mark against my name is not as big a hindrance as it could be. Some employers, particularly big bank and finance institutions have a hard and fast rule against employing people with charges\convictions irrespective of the nature of the offence.

  7. #17
    tsuj a notelpmis QuickTwist's Avatar
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    I've never been convicted of anything and that is the way I want to keep it.

    Worst thing I had on my record was Reckless Driving after I flipped a car and knocked down a street light. Had to pay for the street light post, wasn't cheap. Got out of it almost fine, just had a broken rib that didn't heal very well.
    But your individuality and your present need will be swept away by change,
    and what you now ardently desire will one day become the object of abhorrence.
    ~ Schiller - 'Psychological Types'

  8. #18
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    I do not have a criminal record.

    I have almost been arrested for a few things, but never actually convicted of anything.

    The closest I think I've come was last summer, when a screw up with a self service check out and the use of paying by wireless app meant that the point didn't take my payment, and in the rush that I was in and with my head elsewhere, I didn't bother to wait for the receipt and tried to leave soon as the phone dinged it's success at me. I then spent the next 2 hours with the security guards and the police trying to ascertain if it was a mistake or if I had deliberately attempted to steal a few drinks and snacks for the road from the store I visit several times a week. Although they were unable to tell from the footage, the police eventually accepted it due to my clean record and how stupid it would have been that I came back into the store having forgotten something. The security guard still insisted on a 3 month ban for absolutely no discernible reason.

    A few times in my youth I'd been searched by police whilst carrying some weed, but I'm sure they just smoked it themselves. Bastards once took this brand new bong I was taking to a friends house to test out. And another time a prank when wrong and we ended up having helicopters out searching the mountains for us, but by then we'd already retreated back to the safety of our homes.

  9. #19
    singularity precursor Limes's Avatar
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    My momma's baby dindu nuffink

  10. #20
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    no criminal record, yet still can't secure a job

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