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Thread: Roast me? Sure, why not. If you dare!

  1. #21
    Curious Conlanger epistemophiliac's Avatar
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    My dad(stigmatica)'s ass is so big, that mom, me, and my sister can stand side-by-side behind him and be perfectly hidden from view. And his gut is so big that we can also stand side-by-side next to him and be perfectly hidden from view.

    Sometimes he says he's going to "take a dump", but somehow manages to get lost in the bathroom and goes missing for up to 4 hours at a time. Mom is thinking of putting a GPS collar on him just in case he gets too lost next time and doesn't make it back.

    He's so old that he thinks 'Stranger Things' is nostalgic and has a crush on Will's mom... like, ew, dad. Gross.

    His French is so horrendous, that my French girlfriend thought he was talking to her in Klingon.

    His face is so ugly, that just one stern look can make all the children in the neighborhood simultaneously break down into tears. (just ask my sister)

    He's so ugly that he got a hairless dog just so he could feel better about himself.

    Pedin i phith in anÝron, a nin ˙-cheniog.
    Kup tar-tor n'zhitlar ik istau - eh ri ken-tor du nash-veh.
    Sa's drisa tonabhiala tomu˝ s'eph de'imal'il, sa se lodhe togal'n.
    B'lir inus vorbilim bi mek inus, hiam gi b'ek ilimlimr.

  2. #22
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by epistemophiliac View Post
    My dad(stigmatica)'s ass is so big, that mom, me, and my sister can stand side-by-side behind him and be perfectly hidden from view. And his gut is so big that we can also stand side-by-side next to him and be perfectly hidden from view.

    Sometimes he says he's going to "take a dump", but somehow manages to get lost in the bathroom and goes missing for up to 4 hours at a time. Mom is thinking of putting a GPS collar on him just in case he gets too lost next time and doesn't make it back.

    He's so old that he thinks 'Stranger Things' is nostalgic and has a crush on Will's mom... like, ew, dad. Gross.

    His French is so horrendous, that my French girlfriend thought he was talking to her in Klingon.

    His face is so ugly, that just one stern look can make all the children in the neighborhood simultaneously break down into tears. (just ask my sister)

    He's so ugly that he got a hairless dog just so he could feel better about himself.

    Ouch. I can feel the heat from that burn three states over.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

  3. #23
    singularity precursor Limes's Avatar
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    When Stig is feeling sad, he goes to youtube and plays hurricane Katrina victim videos and perks right up.

  4. #24
    singularity precursor Limes's Avatar
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    Stig likes nothing more than to take his hunting dogs out to the creek and let them at a bait dog (he acquires them from facebook community groups)
    He told me that his favorite are dachshunds as it reminds him of the "hilarious" video where wild dolphins were tossing a porpoise.

  5. #25
    Curious Conlanger epistemophiliac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    Ouch. I can feel the heat from that burn three states over.
    You might have to get out your old firefighter's suit!
    Pedin i phith in anÝron, a nin ˙-cheniog.
    Kup tar-tor n'zhitlar ik istau - eh ri ken-tor du nash-veh.
    Sa's drisa tonabhiala tomu˝ s'eph de'imal'il, sa se lodhe togal'n.
    B'lir inus vorbilim bi mek inus, hiam gi b'ek ilimlimr.

  6. #26
    I'm still watching. I'm watching with beady little eyes whilst rubbing my hands together laughing an evil laugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    my crime is that i disrupted the echo chamber

  7. #27
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    @stigmatica is so white, he plays disc golf.

    Dood, it's a frisbee. You're aiming a frisbee at buckets.

    It's not golf either. The only thing golf about disc golf is old men in ugly clothes, walking.
    Most of time, when people ask why something terrible happened, they don't realize they are looking for someone to blame.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  8. #28
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by epistemophiliac View Post
    You might have to get out your old firefighter's suit!
    They didn't let me keep my bunker gear
    But I did get to keep my helmet!
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

  9. #29
    singularity precursor Limes's Avatar
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    Stig used to watch Diff'rent Strokes with the sound muted, so that he could imagine it wasn't adoption.

  10. #30
    Senior Member BarIII's Avatar
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    I think he's a peaceful man. Never once was it a gun in his pocket.
    I will accept no further friend requests. This doesn't mean I don't love you or anything so don't be offended.

    "You look late twenties" - LordLatch

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