Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 56

Thread: Can a Man and a Woman Be Friends?

  1. #1
    unbeknownst Lilith's Avatar
    Type
    INXj
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Underworld
    Posts
    934

    Can a Man and a Woman Be Friends?

    I'm talking about a hetero man and a hetero woman. It depends on you how you define "friendship" in here. That's what I am curious about since the SO and I are on the opposite side of this matter.

    To the married people on this forum, any personal anecdotes? If you believe it is possible for men and women to be friends, up to what extent is it "acceptable/appropriate" when one party or both are married?

    If both parties are single or one is in a relationship, could a friendship without sexual/emotional attraction even be possible? If not, why?

    Discuss.
    We cling to our past as if they define us. What we do defines us.

  2. #2
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,804
    Of course it is possible. Why would it not be? Apart from insecurities and/or other emotional immaturity.

  3. #3
    chaotic neutral shitpost
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    shrubland
    Posts
    7,271
    yes. being with someone is a choice. i can't imagine keeping my SO from having the friends he has. his mixed gender friend group was in his life before i was... i do not feel "threatened" in any way. generally i also don't think people are attracted to every single individual of the gender(s) they're attracted to.

    i'm also not deluded enough to think that once you're in a relationship you stop being attracted to other people. there's no "problem" that needs to be solved by making your social circle only include people you're not attracted to / you deem unattractive.
    the clouds in the sky caress my mind so tenderly

  4. #4
    Sure if they're old or ugly or related

  5. #5
    creator kari's Avatar
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    3,226
    INTPx Award Winner
    no. no such thing has ever happened in the history of humanity
    I fucking hate the cold! - Wim Hof

    Check out my art. https://www.instagram.com/karililt/

  6. #6
    Banned
    Type
    ISFP
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    1,322
    edit: this debate is stupid
    Last edited by PureViolence; 12-11-2017 at 08:07 PM.

  7. #7
    unbeknownst Lilith's Avatar
    Type
    INXj
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Underworld
    Posts
    934
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    Of course it is possible. Why would it not be? Apart from insecurities and/or other emotional immaturity.
    So, are you saying it is possible for a man and a woman to share so much of interests that they hang out at least a few times in a month and that each is welcome in each other’s house/apartment?

    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    yes. being with someone is a choice. i can't imagine keeping my SO from having the friends he has. his mixed gender friend group was in his life before i was... i do not feel "threatened" in any way. generally i also don't think people are attracted to every single individual of the gender(s) they're attracted to.

    i'm also not deluded enough to think that once you're in a relationship you stop being attracted to other people. there's no "problem" that needs to be solved by making your social circle only include people you're not attracted to / you deem unattractive.
    The thought is nice but how often does your SO see these friends? How would you react if your SO went out with a girl friend somewhere and comes home at 2am?

    There are all hypothetical questions. I think I’m just interested with how people view this as do’s and dont’s.

    I’d write my thoughts on this when I’m on a larger screen.

    Quote Originally Posted by flurps View Post
    Sure if they're old or ugly or related
    Come on. You’re better than that one liner. I laughed at this though because it mirrors my SO’s opinion.
    We cling to our past as if they define us. What we do defines us.

  8. #8
    chaotic neutral shitpost
    Type
    xxxx
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    shrubland
    Posts
    7,271
    Quote Originally Posted by Lilith View Post
    The thought is nice but how often does your SO see these friends? How would you react if your SO went out with a girl friend somewhere and comes home at 2am?
    if he says he'll be out late with friends, i tell him to have fun. he has a lot of late nights with friends but i'm like an old lady about that, so i don't wanna go.

    he sees them regularly, idk how often. but they're naggy about seeing him, including the guys. they go way back.

    he also goes running with his friends, sometimes with a female friend. the point is they're friends. running buddies.

    i'm usually like "don't you have work tomorrow or a test to study for or something" but he's not like me when it comes to harnessing energy.

    i'm just glad he has friends. i don't assume it's sexual or romantic. i've met them, hung out with them and there are no red or yellow flags. if there was attraction, it's his choice? i'm sure he knows attractive people from everywhere.. he works with people? you can't stop someone from having a life.

    idk, that's just my take. like.. there's absolutely no reason that i would suspect he is cheating on me or something.

    edit: i'd reword the question by saying "can men and women have common interests and have a good time exploring interests together" and... yeah? isn't that what most friendship is?
    the clouds in the sky caress my mind so tenderly

  9. #9
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    5,424
    INTPx Award Winner
    Can I reword this...because the way it is worded currently seems to imply a lack of agency on the part of the actors.

    Can humans learn to frame relationships as friendships in spite of attraction?

    The answer is that some can and some can't, but regardless of how attracted we are to someone, we are responsible for controlling our responses. (Response...responsible...not a coincidence).

    Things that affect the difficulty level may include cultural norms and expectations, experience, level of satisfaction with current relationship status, risk/reward calculations, etc.

    The idea that one must avoid associations with members of the opposite sex because .... oh the horror ... one might get feelings ... that's pretty parental, or perhaps even dehumanizing.

    We resort to spaying and neutering to control this behavior in animals, but we humans are sentient, are we not? What's that enormous frontal lobe for if not for agency over instinct? Humans get to decide how to act. I've little respect for those who can't learn to do so.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

  10. #10
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
    Type
    INTP
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,804
    Quote Originally Posted by Lilith View Post
    So, are you saying it is possible for a man and a woman to share so much of interests that they hang out at least a few times in a month and that each is welcome in each other’s house/apartment?
    Yes. Of course.

Similar Threads

  1. Imaginary Friends
    By Hephaestus in forum The Pub
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-27-2017, 08:04 AM
  2. Friends
    By pensive_pilgrim in forum Psychology & Sociology
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-01-2015, 03:24 AM
  3. Would You Let This Woman Die?
    By Polemarch in forum News, Culture & History
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 01-15-2014, 05:53 AM
  4. A woman with power
    By Madrigal in forum Rants, Raves & Hot Air
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 01-02-2014, 04:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •