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Thread: Meeting a potentially significant partner: is it a possibility?

  1. #11
    chaotic neutral shitpost
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    yeah itís possible. i donít think it involves lowering standards necessarily, just knowing what you want, willingness to take a risk to some extent and be vulnerable, taking an active interest in others, confidence, self-acceptance, self-knowledge regarding your tendencies, preferences, priorities (etc.) and healthy sense of realism.

    itís easier said than done but believing itís not possible is pretty... irrational. you should know too if itís just not one of your priorities. thatís fine.
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  2. #12
    Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acsor View Post
    I won't tell anything different from other INTPs and introverts-alike by affirming my solitude. It has possibly been a constant since my early teenage years, aged about 13-15. Now little after having gotten to my 22s, I feel the need to connect with someone. The only catch being that I do not chase the shallowness of casual conversations, meetings and parties. I look profundly at whatever I apply my mind on, and relationships don't seem to make an exception to this.

    This is probably not a post where receiving advices on how to do that. Rather, the question is: is it possible? In other words, have you ever established meaningful, deep relationships with a loved one, or just with a friend of the opposite sex?

    While the ideal is almost novel-like, I do not make myself illusions or try to force things in a manner in which they should be. But certainly I will follow my route of discarding that which doesn't cross the bar, and feeling content with nothing rather than pretending to love or appreciate something which I don't. This is not dandyism: it is a search for meaning and authenticity guided by one of the most precious values of all: truth.
    Just find a nice Russian girl looking for a green card already. Wondering whether or not she actually loves you despite insisting on keeping her own separate bank account while maintaining access to yours might keep you up at night, but hey, that's what the alcohol is for. Sheeeeeesh.

    Who the hell is screening these calls? Next caller, you're on the line.

  3. #13
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    Handsome and weird. Have you even tried dating?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acsor View Post
    Of course I make it that not everyone is a logical maniac, finding an excuse to philosophize on every surrounding. I certainly like joking, as it has been the case at some Mensa parties, but always with a certain amount of wit, of humor.
    Oof.

    Most of the people I've ever tried to talk with seemed to be ignoring most of my comments and puns. I do not call them numb, perhaps it's me. But what is certain is that there's always been an extremely weak connection: completely different human natures.
    What do you do for a living, or even as a pastime? I think one's 20's are generally a decade of isolation for most people (especially once you're out of college and hey presto, suddenly you realise how little opportunity there is for meeting people privately IRL). Having a social activity dear to your heart can help finding someone who gets you – music being the prime example, but scientific activities and sports should work well also.

    I've also noticed a strange effect that once you begin to do well in your field of expertise, you'll automatically attract ambitious/knowledgeable people from fields entirely different from yours as well. Often, having common interests seems to be of marginal importance as long as both parties are mutually interested in the other's work. Such exchanges can be incredibly enriching.

    Now, admittedly, not very long ago I knew a girl with whom I had some form of deep, intuitive understanding, but little shares of interest.
    I've always envied men for their capability to fall for women based on looks alone. I'm not judging, I think I'd be the same – beauty and a pleasant demeanour go a long way in terms of female attractiveness.

    Genius, especially the unapologetic, abrasive kind, sadly tends to be attractive in men and unattractive in women, so perhaps the women you'd be attracted to are merely hiding that facet out of implied social obligation.
    Last edited by Sappho; 05-06-2018 at 08:52 PM.

  5. #15
    Cooler than Jesus
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    Just do what I did and have a serious of increasingly disastrous relationships until it fucks you up so bad that you give up on the idea of relationships entirely. Eventually you'll meet the right one, and actually know that they're the right one.

  6. #16
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acsor View Post
    This is probably not a post where receiving advices on how to do that. Rather, the question is: is it possible? In other words, have you ever established meaningful, deep relationships with a loved one, or just with a friend of the opposite sex?
    When I was in my teens, I didn't think relationships were for me. I thought it was something other people did. The thought of having a man in my life was absurd.

    I guess a lot of introverts might get that impression of themselves as young adults. I think you shouldn't focus on trying to find a partner, because people (of both sexes) pick up on that and it comes across as needy and off-putting. Especially at a young age (which you are), insecurities are inevitable and focusing too much on how you look to others and whether they like you only makes you look like a lamb on its way to the slaughterhouse. Which isn't great, even if some unhealthy people might go for that. Literally, just mind your own business exploring the things you enjoy doing, and eventually you'll meet someone.
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    When I was in my teens, I didn't think relationships were for me. I thought it was something other people did. The thought of having a man in my life was absurd.

    I guess a lot of introverts might get that impression of themselves as young adults. I think you shouldn't focus on trying to find a partner, because people (of both sexes) pick up on that and it comes across as needy and off-putting. Especially at a young age (which you are), insecurities are inevitable and focusing too much on how you look to others and whether they like you only makes you look like a lamb on its way to the slaughterhouse. Which isn't great, even if some unhealthy people might go for that. Literally, just mind your own business exploring the things you enjoy doing, and eventually you'll meet someone[...]
    *cough* ...on an online forum *cough*

  8. #18
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sappho View Post
    *cough* ...on an online forum *cough*
    Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent. - Mao

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    fyp

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