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Thread: What do you do with contempt?

  1. #71
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robcore View Post
    My 'so what' may have a dash of condescension, I can admit that...but it is also honest. 'A bit better than worse' is how I see your argument for it being good; It may be progress for some people...but we're talking about what to do with it, right? I don't need contempt in order to avoid past mistakes, and I don't really think that you do, either. I mean, if you know that it was a mistake, at least. You accuse me of being cold about it...and I don't take that negatively. I value sobriety and a clinical non-attachment.
    And I agree with you! I'm not a nutjob, of course I think feeling rage and contempt consumes the person who can't let it go. Contempt is something I don't feel often, so it's my alarm system. I shut it off and try to move on, and being a P, I usually have little problem with that. I mean, I'm human, I have flare-ups, but anyway.

    You and I have the luxury of chatting about how, ideally, such-and-such emotion is destructive etc. My point is that many, many people find themselves surrounded by contemptible people. In dangerous surroundings, this shit isn't theoretical. Feeling strong negative emotions is adaptive in many situations.

    And don't get me wrong, I've harbored contempt...but it never got me anywhere. It is a dead end. Been there; done that, don't recommend. I have a really good (middle classish) life...but with plenty of instances where it could have turned the other way. Forgiveness, non-attachment, not taking things personally(including my own shortcomings), (mostly) not taking offense at stuff...these are things that I have applied in all kinds of practical situations...and they work really well. My values have endured as I faced illness that could have killed me...through close friendships with addicts...through the very long and drawn out separation of my parents...through coming to terms with my mom's alcoholism...through being chronically bullied all through elementary school after I skipped up from grade 1 to 2...through close relationships with people with severe mental illness...through growing up poor(though admittedly, I never really realized it to be the case at the time).
    It would be incredibly easy for me to frame my life in a 'poor me' context...but I don't. Contempt is a dead end. There are really profound, loving, freeing, ways to deal with the worst stuff in life...and you don't need to get jaded(you can if you want), or contemptuous(you can if you want), or angry, or proud, or apathetic, or guilt-ridden, or consumed, or afraid, or ashamed...

    I've really been laying on the Mother Teresa wisdom lately, but really...I do believe that her idea that anti-war is not the same as pro-peace is quite brilliant. You don't stop violence by fighting fighting. Contempt is the protest. Sobriety is the solution.
    You're a good guy, but I think you need to be more flexible. Professional detachment is crucial, but if you can't respond appropriately to a critical situation, then you are causing more damage than good.


  2. #72
    Dr.Awkward Robcore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lurker View Post
    You and I have the luxury of chatting about how, ideally, such-and-such emotion is destructive etc. My point is that many, many people find themselves surrounded by contemptible people. In dangerous surroundings, this shit isn't theoretical. Feeling strong negative emotions is adaptive in many situations.
    You don't need contempt for a child molester in order to mitigate the threat that he poses.
    Yeah, it's the way that some people mitigate the threat that he poses...but like you said, we're here with the luxury of chatting about it, and we can reflect on whether or not said approach is best.

    Does the fact that some people do not have this luxury somehow elevate contempt? do murderers and molesters objectively require our contempt?

    When you say, "this shit isn't theoretical", what do you mean? That some people don't really get to self reflect on their relationship to contempt, and that they feel it when they leave bad situations, therefore __________________. ??? I'd love for you to fill in that blank for me.

    You're a good guy, but I think you need to be more flexible. Professional detachment is crucial, but if you can't respond appropriately to a critical situation, then you are causing more damage than good.
    Can you give me an example of how I might not be responding appropriately to a critical situation? or of how you think I might likely respond inappropriately to a critical situation?
    Last edited by Robcore; 05-26-2018 at 04:10 AM. Reason: typo
    ...the origin of emotional sickness lay in people’s belief that they were their personalities...
    "The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong." ~Carl Jung

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robcore View Post
    You don't need contempt for a child molester in order to mitigate the threat that he poses.
    Yeah, it's the way that some people mitigate the threat that he poses...but like you said, we're here with the luxury of chatting about it, and we can reflect on whether or not said approach is best.

    Does the fact that some people do not have this luxury somehow elevate contempt? do murderers and molesters objectively require our contempt?

    When you say, "this shit isn't theoretical", what do you mean? That some people don't really get to self reflect on their relationship to contempt, and that they feel it when they leave bad situations, therefore __________________. ??? I'd love for you to fill in that blank for me.


    Can you give me an example of how I might not be responding appropriately to a critical situation? or of how you think I might likely respond inappropriately to a critical situation?
    I'm taking a breather for a bit.


  4. #74
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lurker View Post
    Okay, you are either employing hyperbole for humorous purposes, or it won't be long until you start posting that Hilary Clinton sneaks in at night to curse your unborn child.
    Hyperbole?

    Clinton protected Laura Silsby. Google & Research are both your friends.. but I know that's asking too much in today's world of CNN fake news
    Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

    ~ Robert Jackson, Statesman (1892-1954)


  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinny View Post
    Hyperbole?

    Clinton protected Laura Silsby. Google & Research are both your friends.. but I know that's asking too much in today's world of CNN fake news
    I don't care about Hilary Clinton. She's done.


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