View Poll Results: So?

Voters
18. You may not vote on this poll
  • Leave Fatass behind. Your cat will get over it.

    1 5.56%
  • Next time you see your bf, ask him how he honestly feels about the idea of 2 cats

    6 33.33%
  • Don't tell your bf anything, just show up with Fatass and your cat

    7 38.89%
  • Make a thread about this on the internet so he will read it - that's communication!

    4 22.22%
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Thread: My cat's fatass girlfriend

  1. #1
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    My cat's fatass girlfriend

    So I have a cat that has been very sick this year, and I thought he would die, but he didn't. Basically the signs of lymphoma disappeared, and he is a lot healthier and fatter after being on the brink of death.

    Now that he isn't going to die, instead of moving into my bf's place alone, I'd be taking my cat, since I really can't give a cat with kidney disease to anyone (he needs regular saline and shots at home, and other things, which are pretty expensive in all).

    Here is my cat. Obviously, he is a fucking work of art that any sane person would want to be around, so I'm sure my bf would be happy to have him.



    Enter: Fatass.



    My little sister brought this cat in when she was living here, and when I moved in, and she moved out, she left the cat. This cat is a fatass because while my cat was anorexic, all she did was proceeed to eat most of the tasty food I got for him. Now she's obese and I hope she can slim down because I'm worried about her health.

    Anyway, aside from eating all his food, she has bathed him every day despite how much he stank from the toxins of the kidney disease, and groomed and cuddled him, like a nurse. Now that he feels better, he also plays with her every day too.

    Even though Fatass already has a willing potential foster parent, I am now terrified that if I separate my cat from Fatass, he will become depressed and sick again, with his lymphoma coming back as mysteriously as it disappeared. Also, I am concerned that, upon not having his girlfriend, he might cling to me even more and be resentful of my bf, like that one time he tried to kill the the Honduran freedom fighter guy.

    What do you guys think? Do you think it's safe to leave Fatass behind? Do you have any experiences with separating cat couples? Should I ask my bf what he thinks about living with not one but TWO cats, when he doesn't even LIKE cats? I mean I am already going to annoy him myself, I dunno if the cats will make his life miserable.

    Any feedback welcome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

  2. #2
    chaotic neutral shitpost
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    so glad your cat is doing better

    if this was me, i'd have to take both cats cuz i'd be afraid of the cat getting sick again, and i wanna make sure he's completely recovered before subjecting him to girlfriend-separation cuz moving is already stressful as hell for cats.

    but you'd have to talk to your bf first about that, i guess.
    Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    That cat made me LOL

    Naww.

    I voted already.
    Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

    ~ Robert Jackson, Statesman (1892-1954)


  4. #4
    chaotic neutral shitpost
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    oh yeah, the poll, lol.

    i mean i guess i'd ask my bf if this was me, just to be considerate, but my bf loves cats more than i do.

    if he said that i'd have to choose between him and my pets though that might honestly be dealbreaker material anyway.

    (i'm assuming it's not due to a cat allergy.)
    Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.

  5. #5
    malarkey oxyjen's Avatar
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    Leave Fatass behind, have a baby instead to keep the little kitty company.


  6. #6
    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    I honestly don't know a whole lot about cats, but one thing I have been told before, which seems to have possibly been anecdotally affirmed by certain limited experiences in which I have lived with cats, is that actually a residential move in and of itself tends to irreparably fuck various aspects of their lives all kinds of up.


    Essentially, the claim is that they mentally "imprint" on elements of a place where they live when they're young which is a one-shot sort of cognitive function that they are usually unable to perform more than once.


    I.e. after the first time you ever move out of the residence you lived in when you first adopted a kitten, it becomes in certain respects a psychologically broken animal in a way that it will probably never be able to fully recover from.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

  7. #7
    Utisz's Avatar
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    I guessing your bf won't mind two cats!!

    Two fat-asses on the other hand ...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Senseye's Avatar
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    Hold it. You're moving in with the apparently employed (possibly even well to do) non-communist boyfriend you never talk about? Cat issues need to take a back seat to this breaking news.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    Even though Fatass already has a willing potential foster parent, I am now terrified that if I separate my cat from Fatass, he will become depressed and sick again, with his lymphoma coming back as mysteriously as it disappeared. Also, I am concerned that, upon not having his girlfriend, he might cling to me even more and be resentful of my bf, like that one time he tried to kill the the Honduran freedom fighter guy.
    I love that cat

    For the record, I meant to vote for the final option. What better way to break lifestyle changes to someone!

    In all seriousness though, I don't think one additional cat is going to make that much of a difference (the jump from going from zero to one cat seems much bigger than the one from one to two cats). Besides, two cats are much more fun to watch, because they interact with one another.

    Fatass sounds as if she's been a loyal friend to Lev so she should definitely come along. I thought in communism it was a moral imperative to reward devotion and camaraderie!

    Also this thread needs @Fitz's input.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sinny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Senseye View Post
    Hold it. You're moving in with the apparently employed (possibly even well to do) non-communist boyfriend you never talk about?
    Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

    ~ Robert Jackson, Statesman (1892-1954)


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