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Thread: What should I do about the pigeons above my balcony?

  1. #1
    Cooler than Jesus
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    What should I do about the pigeons above my balcony?

    Some pigeons have recently taken to perching above my apartment's balcony, shitting all over it and the furniture I have out there. So far I've tried swatting them with the broom which seems to have reduced the amount of time they spend up there, but they do occasionally come back to shit on my things. So far, my ideas are:

    1) Buy bb gun and shoot the fuckers
    -Pros: Permanent solution
    -Cons: Might be a felony due to illegal discharge of firearm. Plus might not actually kill the pigeon; I would feel slightly bad about simply maiming the thing and leaving it to slowly die.

    2) Buy a pigeon trap to eventually drive them far away and get rid of them.
    -Pros: It's fun, and is the closest thing to jail, which they deserve for shitting on my things.
    -Cons: Pigeon traps are upwards of $40, which is too much to spend on some goddamn pigeons.

    3) Use duct tape and/or paper to make the place they're perching on inaccessible
    -Pros: Probably the simplest solution
    -Cons: I still need to buy something (a ladder) to do it, and it's ugly. Plus it will leave duct tape residue that I'll need to take care of when I move out.

    Those pigeon deterring spikes are useless, they have them in the parking garage and the pigeons perch on them and use them to make protected nests.

    Can anyone else help me think of effective pigeon deterrents? The cheaper, the better.

  2. #2
    chaotic neutral shitpost
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    i've heard of hanging up old CDs to deter birds...

    (quick yt search for examples)




    if you do try this, lemme know if it actually works.
    Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.

  3. #3
    Cooler than Jesus
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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    i've heard of hanging up old CDs to deter birds...

    (quick yt search for examples)


    if you do try this, lemme know if it actually works.
    I feel like this is something that would work with regular birds, but city pigeons don't scare easily. The last tenants had some silly shiny streamers up there that I never got around to taking down, and now I think I understand why. A few days after the pigeons started sitting up there, I found the streamers torn down and lying on the balcony. Could be worth a shot though.

  4. #4
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    You need a cat-shaped scarecrow.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

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