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Thread: Cut throat security

  1. #1
    New Member
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    Jan 2019
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    40

    Cut throat security

    Anyone here wish they were rich and slightly crooked so they could afford a team of 24x7 elite ninja for protection, or just to entertain you with those kids that bullied you in school?

    If so, stay tuned...

  2. #2
    I hired 168 ninjas last week, but I forgot to tell my husband about them and he beat them all up. It was a pretty embarrassing mix up.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

    I'm not avoiding socializing I'm helping socializing avoid me! --MoneyJungle

  3. #3
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
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    I have a team of elite ninjas that follow me everywhere. It was a reward from completing a quest when I was 19 to slay a world eating crab named "Lumpy". Turned out that decades of rigorous ninja training hadn't left much time for video games so they hadn't noticed the obvious flashing red weak point. I exploited the weak point and we had crab cakes for days. The festival of victory was almost a disaster in the end because we ran out of lemon butter, but by then we were down to claw meat and all it needed to bring out it's best flavor was a spritz of lemon juice.

    Anyway, as I said, they told me that as reward I would have a team of SS-rank ninjas watching my back 24/7, 51 weeks out of the year. It was in a different universe and their year is shorter. To help keep their week off from being exploited, it's selected at random ever lunar new year, and kept in highest secrecy. Not even I know when it will be so I don't accidentally give any tells regarding my vulnerability.

    I feel pretty safe regardless, because I've never seen any of my retinue, so I know they must be excellent.
    Some days you're the bug; some days you're the feature.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  4. #4
    Sysop Ptah's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
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    Chicago
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    5,099
    I sexually identify as a team of elite, rich and slightly crooked ninjas. 24x7, baby.

  5. #5
    your cheapest wine Johnny's Avatar
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    INTp
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    Kamino
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    I imagine having sex on camera for free with 7 magnificent masked ninjas 24x7.

    Waiting patiently for reality to catch up, but my video camera battery is getting low again...
    What's the difference? It's just soda, bro.

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