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Thread: Healthy Home Cooking - Recipes and/or Vague Instructions

  1. #1
    Regular Joe stigmatica's Avatar
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    Healthy Home Cooking - Recipes and/or Vague Instructions

    @TeresaJ - You asked and you shall now receive!

    Mystery Omega 3000 Chili (Yes, I made that name up)
    Cost Estimation: About $1.25 - $1.50 per my size meal (US dollars)
    Number of Meals: About 42
    Nutritional Value: Off the chains!
    Taste: A savory sweet and tangy heat with an almost undetectable hint of bitters on the back end. One of my favorite batches.

    Ingredients as I remember from winging it
    - 4 cups dried black beans
    - 4 cups dried pinto beans
    - 12 bell peppers (6 orange, 6 yellow)
    - 12 or so big jalepenos
    - 12 or so red chili peppers
    - 5 big onions
    - 5 Mangos
    - 5 garlic cloves
    - about 3 pounds of carrots? A big bag.
    - A big family sized bag of Kale? It was pre-bagged family sized kale mix I found at Costco.
    - 2 cups of shelled Walnuts
    - 1 cup or so of Apple Cider Vinegar
    - About 2 cups of red chili powder (I order big 5 pound bags of Hatch NM chili powder over the internet about once a year cuz I use the shit out of it? Only having a little spice sprinkler of chili powder is just stupid!)
    - Cumin (4 tablespoons or so?)
    - Salt (I salt and taste constantly throughout the cook. No clue how much I end up using)
    - 9 Pounds of ground turkey.
    - Olive Oil
    - Water (no clue how much, but I'll explain as we go)

    Part 1 - The day BEFORE you cook
    - 1: Put your 8 cups of dried beans in a bunch of water (about 24 cups) to soak a few hours. The longer the better.
    - 2: Just before bedtime, wash and rinse the soaked beans and put them in a slow cooker. For this amount you may need two slow cookers (I used two and put about 10 cups of water and half the beans in each cooker. You're going to drain the beans later, so too much water is not a problem)
    - 3: Take one of your onions, peel it, cut it in half and put half in each bean pot.
    - 4: Do the same with one of your garlic cloves
    - 5: Add some salt
    - 6: Put the cookers on low and go to bed.

    Part 2 - Good Morning! Time to cut the peppers!
    - 1: For the love of your hands, put on some rubber gloves. You're cutting a LOT of hot peppers, if you don't your hands will catch on fire.
    - 2: Cut all your peppers, chilis and mangos into little bits and put them in your giant pot (not on any heat yet!)
    Spoiler: Peppers In Pot

    - 3: Do the same for your remaining onions and 3 of your 4 remaining garlic cloves - Try not to cry

    Part 3 - The Secret Sauce! - A good blender or processor that can really get things chopped to a paste is recommended here.
    - 1: Blend the living crap out of your kale, carrots, remaining garlic clove, walnuts and Apple Cider Vinegar until it's basically a foul smelling smoothy from hell. You'll need to add enough water to the mix such that it blends into a "saucy" consistency.
    - 2: In a sauce pan, bring the smoothy to a boil on med heat.
    - 3: Slowly stir in your 2 cups or so of chili powder and your cumin. This should turn it from a sickly green puke color to a muddy red.
    - 4: Add some salt. Maybe a tablespoon or 2.
    - 5: Now let it simmer on low and continue to stir for about 10-15 minutes (you want the vinegar to cook out a bit)
    - 6: Taste and salt if needed. It's going to be pretty bitter thanks to the kale, but don't worry. It's a small taste player in the end.
    Spoiler: Secret Sauce Simmering


    - 7: Now pour it into your cut pepper pot and mix!
    Spoiler: Adding the Secret Sauce

    - 8: Drain all your beans through a strainer and dump them in as well (just throw out the onion halves). Mix.
    - 9: Add water until the liquid level in the pot is even with the chopped peppers and such.
    Spoiler: Water Leveled and Mixed


    Part 4: The Stirring War
    - 1: Place your pot on HIGH heat and stir like a bandit about every minute or two until your chili is steaming hot from top to bottom.
    - 2: You sure it's steaming hot? You sure you stirred enough not to burn the bottom? Good job! Put it on low/med heat. Now you can stir every 10 minutes for the rest of eternity. Or 2 hours, whichever comes first. During your 10 minute stir breaks, you can work on Part 5 below! Oh, and be sure and taste and salt throughout at this point. Don't go crazy, give the flavors time to blend and seep. The taste will drastically change as it simmers. Also, DO NOT use a lid! You are letting the liquids reduce at this point.

    Part 5: The Meats!
    - 1: Well, cook all that turkey. You're going to want to do it in three 3 pound batches. For each batch:
    Spoiler: The Meats

    - - 1A: Add about 3 tablespoons of olive oil
    - - 1B: Cook until brown, and keep chopping it down into fine chunks.
    - - 1C: Add some chili powder, cumin and salt to your liking.
    -- 1D: Add it to your big pot and work like a dog stirring it all in.

    Part 6: The finished product!
    - 1: Remember, at LEAST 2 hours of simmer stirring. I actually did more like 5. Once you've done that, you should have this:
    Spoiler: Finished Chili

    - 2: Let it cool for several hours then package it up for the freezer and fridge (after you eat a bowl, of course!)
    Spoiler: Ready to Freeze
    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    my crime is that i disrupted the echo chamber

  2. #2
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    .....Wow. That looks delicious.
    Too bad, Lady Une. You were far too lenient.
    As a soldier, yes. But as a civilian I lived an austere life.

  3. #3
    schlemiel Faust's Avatar
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    That looks wrong, but tasty.
    "All my heroes are dead" - John Zorn

    "It's not selfish if you hate yourself"

  4. #4
    Senior Member Senseye's Avatar
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    Needs kidney beans as well. And ground beef > turkey. But that would just make it better, it looks fine as it is.

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    Hey gang, can we all cook this and report our varying levels of success with pictures. I've been confused by what is American chili, so this will be an inlet.

  6. #6
    Cooler than Jesus
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    Quote Originally Posted by scarydoor View Post
    Hey gang, can we all cook this and report our varying levels of success with pictures. I've been confused by what is American chili, so this will be an inlet.
    INTPx CHILI COOKOFF 2019

  7. #7
    TJ TeresaJ's Avatar
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    I'd be down, but I might reduce the portion for my first batch. O_O
    Too bad, Lady Une. You were far too lenient.
    As a soldier, yes. But as a civilian I lived an austere life.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Thoth's Avatar
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    The best chili I've ever had also included corn (bug whup) and I swear molasses or brown sugar. Unfortunately it was quite literally a "secret family recipe" that would absolutely not be shared.

    I often wish I could find something like it again.

  9. #9
    Hasta Siempre Madrigal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thoth View Post
    Unfortunately it was quite literally a "secret family recipe" that would absolutely not be shared.
    That sounds kind of silly.

    I'm not a fan of beans (we don't really do beans in Argentina), but I want to give it a try. I like that mango idea.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Heh. We've been here years now.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Thoth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madrigal View Post
    That sounds kind of silly.

    I'm not a fan of beans (we don't really do beans in Argentina), but I want to give it a try. I like that mango idea.
    The cook's uncle was a chef who had supposedly won awards with his recipe. Trust me, I asked.

    People get serious about their chili recipes in the US, nearly as much as barbecue.

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