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Thread: Different "personalities" within a person - and change

  1. #1
    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
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    Different "personalities" within a person - and change

    Before my latest manic episode in January I was quite good at programming (PHP / JQuery / SQL, etc) and did it for 30 hours a week. But when I was manic I had hardly any kind of self-restraint or inner critic in terms of being "normal".

    After several weeks they gave me 6 treatments of ECT. I forgot many of the crazy ideas I had and I just wanted to get out of the mental ward.

    Anyway for my whole life I've never been able to picture things in my head - except in a ghostly vague way. I had also never had any sense of colour in my imagination or dreams.

    After hospital I tried doing programming for 8 hours a week but I couldn't comprehend things to a sufficient degree so I had to retire. Recently I started to have visual hallucinations - I'd see shapes/textures sometimes when I woke up - sometimes with and sometimes without my eyes being open.

    Then in the last week I had full colour hallucination - I think my eyes were closed - and it was an image of myself when I was a bit younger standing in front of a green backyard. (not quite an out of body experience)

    I think my kinds of personalities have been changing. Also at the time I was becoming manic I'd get huge amounts of spoken thoughts. I'd write them down. In the hospital I kept doing that - writing down a lot of ideas - then I said to myself that I wanted to go to sleep and from that point on I was never kept awake by spoken thoughts.

    Another thing is that around the time I was having ECT I'd lose memories - I'd have no recall of some visits.

    About 12 years earlier I also lost my memory for about 2 days soon after having a manic episode. My sisters said I had trouble recognising them

    Also a couple of months ago I had very strong rage due to my wife annoying me. I was swearing very loudly in my mind. I had to push my wife away. I said that I had to tell her about it and it never really happened again.

    I'm interested in how the different "personalities" (cognitive functions?) have different levels of our conscious awareness and I think my current setup involves less working memory available to personalities that can deal with high-level programming/analysis. Maybe the new elements of mine that second-guess themselves (superego?) are reducing the amount of working memory I have for programming. Also now my ability to navigate and remember locations is extremely limited.

    Note that I don't really have much understanding of the "cognitive functions" in MBTI.

    BTW are there visual cognitive functions?

    Also I think the split brain experiment is very relevant. While in hospital I thought that both of my hemispheres were verbal - and I stopped dreaming for a while. Also I'd have conversations with myself... I'd be generating ideas and also giving myself feedback. In the split brain experiment one of the hemispheres could point their finger but not talk.

  2. #2
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    Cognitive functions aside all I can think is that the changes mentioned might be effects of ECT on the frontal lobe primarily

    The inability to recognize faces and retrograde amnesia 12 years ago from a manic episode sounds like the effects of cortisol on some parts of your brain like the temporal lobe and hippocampus

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    Married Mouth-breather JohnClay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokki balbotox View Post
    Cognitive functions aside all I can think is that the changes mentioned might be effects of ECT on the frontal lobe primarily
    I was hoping for an answer that involves id, ego and superego - or something like that.

    The inability to recognize faces and retrograde amnesia 12 years ago from a manic episode sounds like the effects of cortisol on some parts of your brain like the temporal lobe and hippocampus
    At that time I was given medication to get over my manic episode - forgetting about it is a good way of ending it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnClay View Post
    I was hoping for an answer that involves id, ego and superego - or something like that.
    We didn't spend much time on that in school cuz it's the 21st century

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