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Thread: Advice: working in a team with a Te-dom

  1. #11
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    She left at like 2pm, then called the store at 3 to make sure I put out the au gratin potatoes she made

    CHRIST

    Yep okay I'm gonna just ignore her tomorrow

    Thanks for the advice

  2. #12
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    After I posted I had the thought that yeah it is very possible this lady is indeed doing it intentionally to see how far she can push rokki until she gets irritated with her (and perhaps even wants her to get so irritated with her she can use it against her later on).
    Why would someone seek to irritate someone? You're right cuz that's what it seems like; but fucking why? The fuck. So she could flip it and be the victim? For what! What's the point? Christ!

    Since shes so religious I'll just have my girlfriend come in and kiss me. Maybe that'll irritate her

    Quote Originally Posted by Grape Johnson View Post
    First off, ideally don't let emotions depend on her. Think about your own shit and be in control. Ideally I try to smile and say Okay! Alright, sounds good. That's awesome

    This is ultimately what I'd like to do. I've noticed this is a lot of my coworkers method with her. They just play along but do whatever they want anyway, but they don't work the majority of their shift with her, whereas I do.

    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    i usually think they want to offload their anxiety on me, and so i take on their anxious controlling shit, ask them good questions, take notes, stay one step ahead of them and make them feel like i'm doing all the worrying and controlling so they don't have to.
    Right now I don't have the ability to do that, but I think I could swing this in a way where I increase the sales higher than her when she isn't there (she comes in a few hours before me so she dictates the processes for the day pretty much). But I think this is a good idea if I don't snap first

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Caveat View Post
    After a polite but short time conscious listen, I'd suggest something other than "fuck off," to firmly terminate conversation, like "thanks for the suggestion, but I really gotta get back to my work now."
    This sounds like advice I've received before. I was told to say "bless your heart"

    And well put flurps. I wish I were a little better at treating people who deserve to be treated like shit like shit before I internalize all the shit and I snap. My signature is just letting it fill up til I explode and it turns into a fuck off
    Last edited by rokki balbotox; 10-06-2019 at 09:30 PM.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sir Caveat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokki balbotox View Post
    This sounds like advice I've received before. I was told to say "bless your heart"
    "bless your heart" sounds mocking. Rather than ramping it up into an emotional and adversarial relation, I echo Grape Johnson and think it's best to brush her off, "ideally don't let emotions depend on her." She's got her issues and will be the way she'll be, like going home with her head still at the store. Don't let her occupy too much space in your head.

    But what do I know. Confrontation or ostracizing her could work better for you than brushing her off.
    You hide behind caveats and modifiers. - Lurker

  4. #14
    Senior Member rokki balbotox's Avatar
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    Right, I'd never say that anyway as it sounds very southern.
    Everyone at work refers to this lady with a Miss in front of her name, which makes me think they're like subconsciously calling her that to boost her rank among the workers. They call the other elder Miss, too. It might just be a respect thing, idk. But I won't do it. I'm not calling anyone Miss in 2019. That's fuckin ridiculous and I'm not relegating myself to some sort of preschooler by verbally decorating an elder with an unnecessary salutation

  5. #15
    Faster. Than. Ever. Sloth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokki balbotox View Post
    Why would someone seek to irritate someone? You're right cuz that's what it seems like; but fucking why? The fuck. So she could flip it and be the victim? For what! What's the point? Christ!
    People who do this, particularly over silly things, have an unhealthy relationship with power.

    There are an infinite amount of combinations that can cause a person to end up that way, but ultimately these are people who are so uncomfortable with the *lack* of power they have over the rest of lives that they immediately turn into miserable shit bags the moment they're given even the smallest drop of power.

    I can only imagine the stupid argument she must have lost over like a parking space or something that caused her to immediately call you about some potatoes.

  6. #16
    unbeknownst Lilith's Avatar
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    Is it her job to tell you “how to do it right”?

    If yes, simply take note and outline point by point how her process is ineffective. She will respect you for it. If not, tell her to fuck off, draw your line, and stay away from her verbal diarrhea.

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