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Thread: Poems, Prose, or Quotes - Writings by you or others

  1. #11
    Senior Member roki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Is the audience supposed to laugh at "She is Mulan?"

    That was good. It was like super cheesy turned into massively and unexpectedly cheesy and it just worked.

  2. #12
    I'm having Fun reading what you write

    Yes, maybe people are supposed to laugh, most of them

  3. #13
    Societal egress and ennui Catoptric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    1187 at Hundertwasser
    Quote Originally Posted by Underlined_Negativist View Post
    @Catatrophic You use many advanced Words

    I wrote this like 2012 in The Madhouse:

    Wakeful at sleepless Nights
    No alibies
    Tryin'a find a Way
    And who can say?

    Reflection on The Road
    Construction to be told
    Death to Leave away
    Who can sa Nay?

    Honor has gone before
    My lady at The Door
    Searching for a Way
    And Then Go play

    With the garden tools, i gave today, planting a Flower, for yesterday, doing what she really wants and who can say nay, doing what she really wants, and who can say nay

    *Now* She is The Government. She is my Defensive Weapon like The Brainchild of Zeus ... She is both Beautiful and Strong. She is Mulan
    I have incorporated free-verse writing, in addition to intentional prose, at times; I suppose the gist of the character, Mulan, is that of playing a part of a social caste, which incidentally I wrote about a few months ago.


    7/31/2020 Vestigial

    Remnant's of a caste
    Saunters off, the past
    Ebbs of freedom, goes
    Long, for reason; known
    Servants to a cause;
    Circuits to a fault
    Worships, to assault;
    No higher, purpose; for us all.
    Bent toward, untoward.


    Which is not unlike a much earlier writing:

    12-22-2006 Directory of Lost Pages

    Directory of lost, pages;
    Tome to all our, lost sages,
    Begins with work, of loss; brazen,
    Endlessly, for sought, wages.
    Bourne to lead, for sought, haven,
    Bereft, with ease--torn down--gave in,
    Along notes, to gleam, of life saved;
    An endless deed, turns out, faded.
    Drawn, to all our, safe-havens,
    Care, with ease for life, bathed in.
    Derelict, this brought,
    As we leave this, fraught laden.
    And so, we squeeze out, time,
    Taken to, please all, signs,
    Lost too, for the wise,
    Seeking out, all, our whines.
    Strewn out, lifeless; imbued,
    Like strenuous slight, too strewn.
    Benign, for all, whom knew,
    Though, if not, for plight; few do.
    Trend, to endless, news,
    Grasped by, very few.
    Finds, are given, lose,
    For all, who care, to do.


    I keep on altering the grammar as I'm not sure if it's poetic license to use commas as syntax, or to evoke a sort of tempo with the word placement.
    Last edited by Catoptric; 12-29-2020 at 10:41 PM. Reason: saunders -> Saunter (Well, that was a malapropos. . .)

  4. #14
    It's a bit too poetic. You are trying to make a song (lyric pluss rythm). It is not so difficult. In time i've learnt to put other lyrics to known beats effectively, at the drop of a hat.

    It's an art of making beats and rythms and melodies (call it style). It needs to be taught. It is a theme for muscisians to "create own songs".

  5. #15

  6. #16
    Societal egress and ennui Catoptric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    1187 at Hundertwasser
    Chrysalis 1/3/2021

    Wrapped up in a message,
    Of comfort in distress,
    And coddled insecurities.
    The pangs of metamorphosis;
    Cloying and furtive,
    With pensive eyes towards succor,
    Of self-restraint.

    The manacles of a persona,
    Collectively pursed against enmity;
    Towards calamity,
    In a vacuum of self-admittance,
    And self-acknowledgement.
    Persuasion’s tattered mass;
    Of societal-entropy.

    Finding fault in disharmony;
    En masse with collateral,
    On the back-end of a new season
    Is a stoic-mummy, reborn anew.
    A zombie, vetted with life-experience,
    Sated by the wrappings of persistence.

    Of compliance, conformity, and compassion;
    The illusion of magic,
    Is song of coward's mock.
    The parsimony of sages is that of refrain,
    With the appearance of bliss.
    The sleight-of-hand is not remiss.


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