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Thread: Totally Awesome Moments in Military History

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    Tawaci ki a Gnaska ki Osito Polar's Avatar
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    Totally Awesome Moments in Military History

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

    Picture: this is the cannister that would hold the sleeping bats. Note air holes so they could breathe.



    During WWII the USA created a bomb that used bats. The bats would carry small incendiary charges and would be released from the bomb in mid air, causing them to fly like motherfuckers and hide in different buildings in the area. Then the charges would detonate and set the buildings on fire. It was tested and proven to be very effective as well as being 64% more metal! than other bombs.

    Then they invented the atomic bomb and cancelled plans to make bat bombs to drop on Japan.
    "I don't have psychological problems." --Madrigal

    "When you write about shooting Polemarch in the head, that's more like a first-person view, like you're there looking down the sight of the gun." --Utisz

    David Wong, regarding Chicago
    Six centuries ago, the pre-Colombian natives who settled here named this region with a word which in their language means "the Mouth of Shadow". Later, the Iroquois who showed up and inexplicably slaughtered every man, woman and child renamed it "Seriously, Fuck that Place". When French explorer Jacques Marquette passed through the area he marked his map with a drawing of a brownish blob emerging from between the Devil's buttocks.

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    Suburban Legend C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-tank_dog

    The Soviet anti-tank mine dogs were largely ineffective, or worse:

    Another serious training mistake was revealed later; the Soviets used their own diesel-engine tanks to train the dogs rather than German tanks which had gasoline engines.[5] As the dogs relied on their acute sense of smell, the dogs sought out familiar Soviet tanks instead of strange-smelling German tanks.[7]

    Oops!
    "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is reality. Your cries do not move me." -- Sistamatic

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    Suburban Legend C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unsinkable_Sam

    "Unsinkable Sam" was a ship's cat that survived the sinking of the Bismarck, one of the few creatures of any species to do so. He was picked up by the crew of British destroyer HMS Cossack and survived the sinking of that ship. He was taken aboard aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal which was, you guessed it, sunk by a U-boat. Sam survived that sinking too. Afterwards he became a shore-based cat, and he died in 1955.
    "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is reality. Your cries do not move me." -- Sistamatic

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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    Heard of the famous “Shot Heard Round the World?” Well, the Revolutionary War nearly started early thanks to Sarah Tarrant, a nurse with a fiery temper who lived in Salem, Massachusetts in 1775. British commander Alexander Leslie came to Salem in search of cannons he believed were hidden there by rebels. Upon his arrival, some of the younger citizens taunted him, refused to let his troops cross the bridge into town, and scuttled his boat. Worse, the Salem militia gathered, armed and ready. Nevertheless, Leslie persisted. To save face, he eventually marched his men into Salem and turned them around to return to Boston. On their way out, Sarah Tarrant hurled insults at the retreating redcoats, one of whom stopped and aimed his musket at her despite Leslie’s order to stand down. Fortunately, the soldier didn’t fire, otherwise it’s possible the Revolutionary War would have started then and there.

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    Suburban Legend C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    The night air war between RAF Bomber Command and the German Luftwaffe saw the introduction of many electronic warfare gadgets and techniques, some of which are still used today. However, Operation Corona started as an old-fashioned deception operation in very British style:

    CORONA CONTROLLERS: In October 1943 the RAF began to use German-speaking operatives (many of them Jewish refugees from Germany) to pose as Luftwaffe fighter controllers. Their successes were limited (though on the first occasion they drove the German controller into a fit of apoplexy). Occasional fog warnings broadcast over the airwaves could cause some nightfighters to divert or land early.

    CORONA JAMMING: While the RAF ‘Corona’ operatives gummed up the airwaves with fake radio checks, the Germans tried various methods to counter the programme such as using women controllers. The RAF then deployed woman operatives of their own and the result devolved into the world’s first electronic ‘flame war’ with both groups openly insulting each other across the airwaves. Eventually, ‘Corona’ became a jamming system, playing records of Hitler speeches over the fighter control frequencies so as to garble any attempts to use the airwaves.
    "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is reality. Your cries do not move me." -- Sistamatic

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    Minister of Love Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Badass of the Week: Sir Isaac Brock

    so we decided, fuck it, we're going to conquer Canada because what the fuck is the point of that place anyways. We had a massive army, home field advantage, a nationalistic blood rage of Manifest Destiny, and a few unopened cases of well-shaken-up cans of whoop-ass we'd been holding onto since the days of our boy George Washington. The Canadians had a few hundred untrained militiamen armed with snowballs, a lumberjack, a couple grizzly bears, and trees.

    They also had 42 year old Major-General Sir Isaac Brock – one of the most balls-out, borderline-psychotically fearless British generals ever produced, and a man who didn't even give a fuck despite being outnumbered three to one in every engagement of his entire career. And he's the only reason why Quebec and Ontario aren't currently American states.
    he made good friends with the local Indian warriors, most notably a dude named Tecumseh – a balls-out scalp-happy warrior brave who took one look at Brock and reportedly said, "Ah, now THIS is a man!".

    And, of course, the absolute best part of any story about 18th or 19th century warfare--the fact that no one had thought up the idea of camouflage yet so people went into combat dressed like Liberace.

    http://www.warof1812.ca/brock.htm

    On the night of October 13, General Stephen Van Rensselaer crossed the Niagara River from Lewiston N.Y. with 3,000 troops to the small village of Queenston. The landing was initially opposed by a force of some 300 British, who prevented the Americans from capturing the town. Scaling a nearby path, the Americans soon gained control of the surrounding heights and succeeded in capturing a small redan battery with an 18-pounder cannon which commanded the area.

    Awakened by the firing, Brock quickly dressed, mounted a horse and galloped from Fort George to the battle now unfolding. Upon his arrival, he rallied the British forces now assembled below the heights and led them up the hill to recapture the battery. Repulsed, he organized a second wave and again mounted an attack. Resplendent in his red uniform, cocked hat and gold lace, Brock was spotted by an American sharpshooter (some say it was a Kentucky rifleman) and shot in the chest.

    It is at this point that Brock passes into legend. Later accounts would claim that Brock, now fatally wounded, would have urged the York volunteers to "push on" and take the battery. Contemporary accounts, however, suggest that Brock was instantly killed by the bullet which hit him. In the end, the British recaptured the heights, won the battle and took nearly 1,000 prisoners.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ptah View Post
    No history, no exposition, no anecdote or argument changes the invariant: we are all human beings, and some humans are idiots.

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    Suburban Legend C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    After Napoleon was defeated (for the first time) in 1814, the British high command offered the Duke of Wellington command of their forces in North America. Wellington declined. It's been said that one factor in his decision was the knowledge that American sharpshooters were good at plugging senior officers.
    "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is reality. Your cries do not move me." -- Sistamatic

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    Senior Member Starjots's Avatar
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    Attributed to Sun Tzu around 500 BCE, the Art of War had certainly reached final form by 200 BCE. This book, written well over two thousand years ago still in one of the best books on military concepts. It also has much to say about any competitive situation such as business or politics. Meta On.

    The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.
    ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
    ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win
    ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate.
    ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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    Senior Member jyng1's Avatar
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    The birth of the 'Gunfighter Pa' and the idea that fortified trenches could withstand continued cannon fire and cause serious losses to attacking troops...

    The British troops arrived before the Ohaeawai Pā on 23 June and established a camp about 500 metres (1,600 ft) away. On the summit of a nearby hill (Puketapu) they built a four gun battery. They opened fire next day and continued until dark but did very little damage to the palisade. The next day the guns were brought to within 200 metres (660 ft) of the pā. The bombardment continued for another two days but still did very little damage. Partly this was due to the elasticity of the flax covering the palisade, but the main fault was a failure to concentrate the cannon fire on one area of the defences, so as to create a breach in the palisade.


    The memorial in Saint Michael's churchyard. The inscription reads in Māori -- “ Ko te tohu tapu tenei o nga, hoia me nga heremana o te Kuini, I hinga i te whawhai ki konei ki Ohaeawai, I te tau o to tatou ariki 1845. Ko tenei urupa na nga Maori i whaka-takoto I muri iho i te maunga rongo.”
    In English it translates as -- “This is a sacred memorial to the soldiers and sailors of the Queen who fell in battle here at Ohaeawai in the year of Our Lord 1845. This burying place was laid out by the Maoris after the making of peace.”
    After two days of bombardment without effecting a breach, Despard ordered a frontal assault. He was, with difficulty, persuaded to postpone this pending the arrival of a 32 pound naval gun which came the next day, 1 July. However an unexpected sortie from the pā resulted in the temporary occupation of the knoll on which Tāmati Wāka Nene had his camp and the capture of Nene's colours - the Union Jack. The Union Jack was carried into the pā. There it was hoisted, upside down, and at half-mast high, below the Māori flag, which was a Kākahu (Māori cloak). This insulting display of the Union Jack was the cause of the disaster which ensued. Infuriated by the insult to the Union Jack Colonel Despard ordered an assault upon the pā the same day. The attack was directed to the section of the pā where the angle of the palisade allowed a double flank from which the defenders of the pā could fire at the attackers; the attack was a reckless endeavour. The British persisted in their attempts to storm the unbreached palisades and five to seven minutes later 33 were dead and 66 injured. The casualties included Captain Grant of the 58th Regiment and Lieutenant Phillpotts of HMS Hazard.
    Shaken by the loss of a third of his troops, Despard decided to abandon the siege. However, his Māori allies contested this decision. Tāmati Wāka Nene persuaded Despard to wait for a few more days. More ammunition and supplies were brought in and the shelling continued. On the morning of 8 July the pā was found to have been abandoned, the occupants having disappeared in the night. When they had a chance to examine it the British officers found it to be even stronger than they had feared.

    "It is quite astonishing how they seem to defy the British in their fortifications. They have double fences, ditches, and loop holes, their houses sunk underground; and as the great guns of the British are fired through their pa with so little loss to the rebels, it is supposed that they have large holes, in which they secure themselves. The fence round the pa is covered between every paling with loose bunches of flax, against which the bullets fall and drop; in the night they repair every hole made by the guns."
    The pā was duly destroyed and the British retreated once again to the Bay of Islands. Te Ruki Kawiti and his warriors escaped and proceeded to construct an even stronger pā at Ruapekapeka. The Battle of Ohaeawai was presented as a victory for the British force, notwithstanding the death of about a third of the soldiers. The reality of the end of the Battle of Ohaeawai was that Te Ruki Kawiti and his warriors had abandoned the pā in a tactical withdrawal; with the Ngāpuhi moving on to build the Ruapekapeka Pā from which to engage the British force on a battle field chosen by Te Ruki Kawiti.

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