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Thread: Multi-generational households

  1. #11
    wetback Space Invaders Champion Fitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jigglypuff View Post
    it’s considered pretty normal where i grew up. it’s great if the family/household gets along and it’s economically sensible if you’re not paying a cost in other ways, like with your mental health. i don’t wanna live with my family cuz i do end up paying a cost with my health, but right now i’m living with my bf’s family and for the most part it’s totally fine (except that they still fucking visit between houses like a disease isn’t going around which my family is too cold and isolated and fucked up to do, lol, jfc).
    Yeah, this has been normal down here my entire life.


    I like the idea of it and think that it could be amazing especially with raising a family. I just don't like my "family" very much. I doubt I'll ever do it though I really really like living alone.
    Then why did he put the Devil in me?

  2. #12
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    If you offered me a billion dollars in exchange for living with my mother as an equal for just one year, I wouldn't even have to think. It would be a straight up no. The effect of a year of that kind of constant stress might be the end of me. Visiting my mother for a week makes me want to jump off a bridge. Her visiting my house for a week makes me want to jump off a bridge. Our happiness conditions have always been utterly mutually exclusive. I live in fear of her having no where else to go.
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  3. #13
    Member Works's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    If you offered me a billion dollars in exchange for living with my mother as an equal for just one year, I wouldn't even have to think. It would be a straight up no. The effect of a year of that kind of constant stress might be the end of me. Visiting my mother for a week makes me want to jump off a bridge. Her visiting my house for a week makes me want to jump off a bridge. Our happiness conditions have always been utterly mutually exclusive. I live in fear of her having no where else to go.
    Just think of the nice long term care facility you could put her in if you had a billion dollars.

  4. #14
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Works View Post
    Just think of the nice long term care facility you could put her in if you had a billion dollars.
    I'd be using it to hire a hit after a year of living with her.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

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  5. #15
    Member Works's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sistamatic View Post
    I'd be using it to hire a hit after a year of living with her.
    A billion dollars puts you above the law more or less.

  6. #16
    Homo siderius Sistamatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Works View Post
    A billion dollars puts you above the law more or less.
    Great, I'd be psychologically damaged and above the law. It really doesn't sound like a recipe for a fulfilling life. And knowing my luck, I'd get cancer halfway through the year and die a week out, then I'd have turned the remainder of my life into a living hell only to die one week shy of payday.

    The sun will come up tomorrow, for sure, but I won't always be there for that. If you can make the most of most of your todays, that's living.
    Last edited by Sistamatic; 07-19-2020 at 12:31 AM.
    Insults are effective only where emotion is present. -- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" Stardate 3468.1.

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  7. #17
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    Nope. One of the benefits of a dysfunctional family. Everyone hates each other.

  8. #18
    non-canonical Light Leak's Avatar
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    There's no way I'd want to live with my mom either. I did that for a year after college while I was job hunting and it was awful. I fought with my mom pretty much every day, and she made me feel like shit for taking so long to find a job. It stresses me out just to visit her, or have her visit me. She always finds ways to criticize me and make me feel like shit. I can't live with that.

    I also don't want to live with my in-laws. I did that for a few months as well when I first moved here to be with my husband. He was my boyfriend at the time. We had to live with his parents for a few months to save up money to put a deposit on an apartment. I didn't argue with his parents, but I was still stressed the whole time. I didn't really have any privacy there.

    One of my biggest fears is that my dad dies first and I have to be around my mom without him as a buffer. Even worse if my mom needs care and I have to take care of her. I know she's not going to want to go into a home. She's going to expect that one of her kids take care of her. My brother and sister already told me that it's my responsibility since I'm the oldest, and also because my parents have also already given me power of attorney. Plus she's also taken actions like putting her house, cars, and time shares in a trust so we can't sell them off to get money to put her in a home. She says it's so she can make sure that those things go to us when she dies, but I don't want any of that shit. I guess if we can sell those things and get the money after she dies that's nice, but it would also be nice if we could get the money when she's still alive so she and my dad can get proper care if needed.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Light Leak View Post
    There's no way I'd want to live with my mom either. I did that for a year after college while I was job hunting and it was awful. I fought with my mom pretty much every day, and she made me feel like shit for taking so long to find a job. It stresses me out just to visit her, or have her visit me. She always finds ways to criticize me and make me feel like shit. I can't live with that.

    I also don't want to live with my in-laws. I did that for a few months as well when I first moved here to be with my husband. He was my boyfriend at the time. We had to live with his parents for a few months to save up money to put a deposit on an apartment. I didn't argue with his parents, but I was still stressed the whole time. I didn't really have any privacy there.

    One of my biggest fears is that my dad dies first and I have to be around my mom without him as a buffer. Even worse if my mom needs care and I have to take care of her. I know she's not going to want to go into a home. She's going to expect that one of her kids take care of her. My brother and sister already told me that it's my responsibility since I'm the oldest, and also because my parents have also already given me power of attorney. Plus she's also taken actions like putting her house, cars, and time shares in a trust so we can't sell them off to get money to put her in a home. She says it's so she can make sure that those things go to us when she dies, but I don't want any of that shit. I guess if we can sell those things and get the money after she dies that's nice, but it would also be nice if we could get the money when she's still alive so she and my dad can get proper care if needed.
    Lol, this sounds like something I could have written except I'm not the oldest, but my sister has kids so she can't help with anything, or at least that's her excuse. I have my mom's POA and all her stuff is in a trust. If she were incapacitated I could call her attorney to get the POA released and take control of the trust. I'm sure you could do the same. Forget about selling the timeshare. You can't give those away.

  10. #20
    Cooler than Jesus
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    I lived with my mother in law for a few months in a 2bd apartment in New Jersey, it wasn’t bad at all. She was obsessed with feeding me which got a bit annoying at times but on the other hand, coming home from work to freshly cooked food is quite nice. She also had a cleaning lady that came every other week so chores were minimal, and wouldn’t let us pay rent so that helped a lot financially. The only thing is that she’s a huge extrovert and she’d frequently have a lot of people over which made it impossible to relax, if it was a bigger place I could probably deal with that better though.

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