Can an artist statement ever be too inappropriate?

[notdavidlynch]

I just sent this off to a prof coordinating a show. Maybe it'll dawn on them how much I fucking hate them. Or maybe they just won't put it up.

Hello, my name is notdavidlynch. I am a senior art major at UCSB. I majored in art because I don’t want a real job when I graduate. My paintings are usually made in an aggressive and agitated mental state.

I had these two filing cabinets that I was using as squat stands and <name removed> got rid of them without asking me, hence the painting of his face. I had to spend a bunch of money to get a real pair of squat stands. Thanks <name removed>.

When I made the second, untitled painting, I was thinking about how much I hate performance art. I set out to make a really bad painting, confident that no matter how bad it was, it would interest me more than any piece of performance art in the history of the world. I decided that I wanted to start over and began to clean off the canvas with running water, but then decided that I’d rather just go home and go to sleep, so I left it sitting there. Later on someone said they liked it, and I was like LOL do you even art bro?

[pensive_pilgrim]

I think you should be more honest. What you wrote reads like it was written to elicit a certain reaction. I don't know anything about art, though, I just always though it was supposed to be really authentic, even to the point of making people uncomfortable. I like the middle paragraph.

[jigglypuff]

trolly statements would be fine if they were well-written.* that kind of statement makes you sound perpetually undergrad, like you can't see a future beyond being a student, imo.

"i don't want a real job" but you do want a real job, an art job. you want some way to make a living. that's what i mean...

* OR if the work was undeniably kick-ass, the kind that speaks for itself. is it? and can you answer that honestly?

[stuck]

Put some effort into your contempt!

[kali]

I don't think he would understand the subtlety of your wit.

[notdavidlynch]

I think you should be more honest. What you wrote reads like it was written to elicit a certain reaction. I don't know anything about art, though, I just always though it was supposed to be really authentic, even to the point of making people uncomfortable. I like the middle paragraph.

I pretty much described exactly what happened. I don't know how I can get more authentic than that. Perhaps this is a testament to my immaturity.

trolly statements would be fine if they were well-written.* that kind of statement makes you sound perpetually undergrad, like you can't see a future beyond being a student, imo.

"i don't want a real job" but you do want a real job, an art job. you want some way to make a living. that's what i mean...

I want to make art, but I definitely don't want an "art job", or any other kind of job for that matter. I genuinely think that being an art major is good prep for carving out your own, jobless niche in life.

---

But, bam. 4 reactions, all negative. It's a winner.

[stuck]

You need to watch some TED talks bro.

[Neville]

You're an artist it's not like anyone's ever going to take you seriously. Just do whatever. If it goes bad, claim it was a performance piece and that your audience was to uncultured to get it.

[notdavidlynch]

You need to watch some TED talks bro.

I recently visited a gallery and one of the pieces was a lawn chair with a block of wood placed in front of it. On top of the block of wood was an uncooked vegan sausage.

I don't think contemporary art is necessarily about ideas worth spreading. I wish it were. It's more of a game.

[digesthisickness]

I'm surprisingly (to myself) picky about art. That lawn chair shit you just described sounds less like art and more like a friggen insult to people's intelligence. Sure, a lot of people's intelligence should be insulted, but when they tell me that I should enjoy it and am too *whatever* to *get* it, then it goes beyond stupid. Leaving me, for the most part, thinking contemporary artists aren't artists; they're jokes. Worse, they're useless, unfunny jokes. Your OP letter sounds like an entitled, lazy teenager, sure, but it was still more entertaining and honest than a lot of crap people call art these days.