Unplayable Video Games

[stuck]

To set the tone:

QWOP:

http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

DARK CASTLE

[Dirac]

Did you ever play CLOP? That was good too.

[OrionzRevenge]

Wtf? Even with modern gamepads you can't control the bitch.

Now, this was a sensible game:



Agreeable Physics
You had to WORK to enjoy your quarter. Flap those Pecs!
Entire arena in one heads-up
Blue-on-Blue accidents or cut-throat in 2 player mode.

[Hephaestus]

Dude. Defender? You can't play Defender?!!

You know there are more than one planet right?

Fastest way to the next stage in the Apple version was to shoot all the people. Well, you lost the planet but you got to fight in space.

To be fair, when I first ran across a Defender cabinet, I thought my skillz would translate. I was terribly wrong.

[OrionzRevenge]

Dude. Defender? You can't play Defender?!!

You know there are more than one planet right?

Fastest way to the next stage in the Apple version was to shoot all the people. Well, you lost the planet but you got to fight in space.

To be fair, when I first ran across a Defender cabinet, I thought my skillz would translate. I was terribly wrong.

Confessions of a clutz.

everywhere you turn it's like: This control panel was designed for alien hands/tentacles, muscled testicles or something.

And when you need to make a split-second jump to Hyper-Space, where is the Hyper-Space Button?
...In fucking Hyper-Space!

[Lurker]

[pensive_pilgrim]

Do these count?

[mthomps]

Do these count?

[rhinosaur]

When I was a kid, this one was pretty much incomprehensible:



I think I attempted to play it twice in the entire time we had the Atari.