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Thread: Unplayable Video Games

  1. #1
    凸(ಠ_ರೃ )凸 stuck's Avatar
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    Unplayable Video Games

    To set the tone:

    QWOP:

    http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

    DARK CASTLE


  2. #2
    Aporia Dysphoria Dirac's Avatar
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    Did you ever play CLOP? That was good too.

  3. #3
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    Wtf? Even with modern gamepads you can't control the bitch.

    Now, this was a sensible game:



    Agreeable Physics
    You had to WORK to enjoy your quarter. Flap those Pecs!
    Entire arena in one heads-up
    Blue-on-Blue accidents or cut-throat in 2 player mode.

  4. #4
    Meae Musae Servus Hephaestus's Avatar
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    Dude. Defender? You can't play Defender?!!

    You know there are more than one planet right?

    Fastest way to the next stage in the Apple version was to shoot all the people. Well, you lost the planet but you got to fight in space.

    To be fair, when I first ran across a Defender cabinet, I thought my skillz would translate. I was terribly wrong.
    For some, "how", not "why", is the fundamental unit of measure for curiosity. This divergence is neither parallel, nor straight. Where one might have a "why?-5" problem, it might only be a "how?-2" question. But then, there are also many things where the "why?" is immediately obvious but the "how?" is best measured in centuries of perpetual wonder. Both approaches have their drawbacks.

    If one is superior, the other is unaware of it.

    --Meditations on Uncertainty Vol ξ(x)

  5. #5
    Persona Oblongata OrionzRevenge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Dude. Defender? You can't play Defender?!!

    You know there are more than one planet right?

    Fastest way to the next stage in the Apple version was to shoot all the people. Well, you lost the planet but you got to fight in space.

    To be fair, when I first ran across a Defender cabinet, I thought my skillz would translate. I was terribly wrong.
    Confessions of a clutz.

    everywhere you turn it's like: This control panel was designed for alien hands/tentacles, muscled testicles or something.

    And when you need to make a split-second jump to Hyper-Space, where is the Hyper-Space Button?
    ...In fucking Hyper-Space!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    INTPx Award Winner

  7. #7
    know nothing pensive_pilgrim's Avatar
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    Do these count?

  8. #8
    Member mthomps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pathogenetic_peripatetic View Post
    Do these count?

  9. #9
    Member rhinosaur's Avatar
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    When I was a kid, this one was pretty much incomprehensible:



    I think I attempted to play it twice in the entire time we had the Atari.

  10. #10
    Member Karl Pilkington's Avatar
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    anything on steam because of the retro design or because i'm cheap. *dusts hands*

    your m0m's unplayable. heh. "hercules hercules"

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