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Thread: Psychotic/Primitive/Video-Game-interpretation of Cognitive Functions

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    Psychotic/Primitive/Video-Game-interpretation of Cognitive Functions

    Someone's gotta do it.

    Medium-sized introduction about me, trying to explain why I believe I've started turning psychotic in recent years: lived with a family consisting only of IFP types (1 IFJ) half or so of my life lived thus far, a family that only claims as much responsibility for what they've done throughout their life that they can get away with without having to apologize for anything, and in fact has placed most blame and all responsibility to "fix" this family on me, yet denying it when confronted about it (which has finally led me to excommunicate them).
    Couple that with not living up to others standards and only sometimes living up to my own; no comforts other than food/shelter, video games and my thoughts (and finally Internet access later on) = way too much stress for myself to handle = isolated myself and primarily lived through dreams and through pushing the boundaries of my imagination/exploring the psyche from within (not constantly, but occasionally - experimentally).
    Which I'm not sure would lead me to "psychosis" of and by itself, but couple that with the stress of my Enneagram 6 type; always worrying, afraid to be alone (yet weak Fe = push/pull relationship between connecting and disconnecting/being rejected by people), afraid that I won't make it economically, that my family is after me, etc.
    Which has finally been leading up to such a large number of conflicting subconscious messages from others, but most importantly from myself, about what makes sense and what doesn't make sense, whether I want to live or not, etc.
    I could go on but this is the most important gist of it (I'm aware that this ^ is probably so dull that not even a single person other than myself will read it, but I still need to say it (as I believe I'll be considered dull no matter what I say - so I'm saying this for my own sake; in case it might tell a single person something; or just as an experiment)).

    What drove me to make primitive interpretations of MBTI: I believe I'm basically trying to figure Ni out through Ti; what reality is or how our psyche interpretes reality, by applying boolean include/exclude / true/false values to questions about reality (through deciding whether the parameters seem to fit the picture or not).

    So here's the potentially moronic tables I've come up with as primitive interpretations of MBTI:
    T = Decides about/Controls Matter (Pixels)
    F = Decides about/Controls Spirit (Emotions/Meaning)
    S = Considers (Focus of attention @) Presence (See's only Pixels; doesn't notice Patterns/Flows)
    N = Considers (Focus of attention @) Patterns/Past & Future (See's only Patterns/Flows; doesn't notice Pixels)

    Ti - Detachment from Spirit/Emotions :: Master/Sage of Matter (Defensive Ego)
    Fi - Detachment from Matter (incl. Material Truth*) :: Master/Sage of Spirit (Defensive Id)
    Te - Attachment to Matter :: King/User of Matter (Aggressive Ego)
    Fe - Attachment to Spirit/Emotions :: Queen/User of Spirit/Emotions (Aggressive Id)
    Si - Detachment from Patterns :: Master/Sage of Presence (Defensive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ni - Detachment from Presence :: Master/Sage of Patterns (Defensive Id-Interpretation)
    Se - Attachment to Presence :: King/User of Presence (Aggressive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ne - Attachment to Patterns :: Queen/User of Patterns (Aggressive Id-Interpretation)

    *Note my general dislike of (bias against) Fi-users.

    Construct (at least psychologically for Humans) of Reality (From Superficial/Top to Deep/Bottom):
    S - Interpretations of T (More open to input)
    T - Interpretations of F (Less open to input)
    F - Interpretations of N (Less open to input)
    N - Pure information (More open to input)

    Translated:
    Bottom level: iNtuition - Pure speculation/information. Simply: qualia. Example: Color red, so and so "levels of anxiety" (without yet knowing what this "anxiety" which has no words nor meaning is).
    Second level: Feeling - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (N). Example: I'm consciously experiencing the color red, so and so levels of anxiety, etc, therefor [I believe] I must quickly react so and so!
    Third level: Thinking - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (F). Example: Reconsidering when and whether to actually react that way at all; how to improve my emotions..?... basically: trying to build a model around emotions, where and what parameters to place, etc.
    Top level: Sensing - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (S). Example: Organizing our models into practicable chunks. Now that I have the theory, how do I actually go about using it...?

    That's all...
    Last edited by Secretly Insane; 04-16-2014 at 03:54 PM.

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    Anthropos mhc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly Insane View Post
    Someone's gotta do it.

    Medium-sized introduction about me, trying to explain why I believe I've started turning psychotic in recent years: lived with a family consisting only of IFP types (1 IFJ) half or so of my life lived thus far, a family that only claims as much responsibility for what they've done throughout their life that they can get away with without having to apologize for anything, and in fact has placed most blame and all responsibility to "fix" this family on me, yet denying it when confronted about it (which has finally led me to excommunicate them).
    Couple that with not living up to others standards and only sometimes living up to my own; no comforts other than food/shelter, video games and my thoughts (and finally Internet access later on) = way too much stress for myself to handle = isolated myself and primarily lived through dreams and through pushing the boundaries of my imagination/exploring the psyche from within (not constantly, but occasionally - experimentally).
    Which I'm not sure would lead me to "psychosis" of and by itself, but couple that with the stress of my Enneagram 6 type; always worrying, afraid to be alone (yet weak Fe = push/pull relationship between connecting and disconnecting/being rejected by people), afraid that I won't make it economically, that my family is after me, etc.
    Which has finally been leading up to such a large number of conflicting subconscious messages from others, but most importantly from myself, about what makes sense and what doesn't make sense, whether I want to live or not, etc.
    I could go on but this is the most important gist of it (I'm aware that this ^ is probably so dull that not even a single person other than myself will read it, but I still need to say it (as I believe I'll be considered dull no matter what I say - so I'm saying this for my own sake; in case it might tell a single person something; or just as an experiment)).

    What drove me to make primitive interpretations of MBTI: I believe I'm basically trying to figure Ni out through Ti; what reality is or how our psyche interpretes reality, by applying boolean include/exclude / true/false values to questions about reality (through deciding whether the parameters seem to fit the picture or not).

    So here's the potentially moronic tables I've come up with as primitive interpretations of MBTI:
    T = Decides about/Controls Matter (Pixels)
    F = Decides about/Controls Spirit (Emotions/Meaning)
    S = Considers (Focus of attention @) Presence (See's only Pixels; doesn't notice Patterns/Flows)
    N = Considers (Focus of attention @) Patterns/Past & Future (See's only Patterns/Flows; doesn't notice Pixels)

    Ti - Detachment from Spirit/Emotions :: Master/Sage of Matter (Defensive Ego)
    Fi - Detachment from Matter (incl. Material Truth*) :: Master/Sage of Spirit (Defensive Id)
    Te - Attachment to Matter :: King/User of Matter (Offensive Ego)
    Fe - Attachment to Spirit/Emotions :: Queen/User of Spirit/Emotions (Offensive Id)
    Si - Detachment from Patterns :: Master/Sage of Presence (Defensive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ni - Detachment from Presence :: Master/Sage of Patterns (Defensive Id-Interpretation)
    Se - Attachment to Presence :: King/User of Presence (Offensive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ne - Attachment to Patterns :: Queen/User of Patterns (Offensive Id-Interpretation)

    *Note my bias against Fi-users.

    Construct (at least psychologically for Humans) of Reality (From Superficial/Top to Deep/Bottom):
    S - Interpretations of T (More open to input)
    T - Interpretations of F (Less open to input)
    F - Interpretations of N (Less open to input)
    N - Pure information (More open to input)

    Translated:
    Bottom level: iNtuition - Pure speculation/information.
    Second level: Feeling - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (N).
    Third level: Thinking - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (F).
    Top level: Sensing - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (S).

    That's all...
    hi, i like the way you have used a video game analogy to explain your understanding of mbti

    Which I'm not sure would lead me to "psychosis" of and by itself
    im not sure in which tense the psychosis is in your writing. do you mean you have been, are or expecting to be?

    do you understand that it takes another iNtuitive to understand your explanation of this(luckily you have come to the right place)?:
    T = Decides about/Controls Matter (Pixels)
    F = Decides about/Controls Spirit (Emotions/Meaning)
    S = Considers (Focus of attention @) Presence (See's only Pixels; doesn't notice Patterns/Flows)
    N = Considers (Focus of attention @) Patterns/Past & Future (See's only Patterns/Flows; doesn't notice Pixels)

    Ti - Detachment from Spirit/Emotions :: Master/Sage of Matter (Defensive Ego)
    Fi - Detachment from Matter (incl. Material Truth*) :: Master/Sage of Spirit (Defensive Id)
    Te - Attachment to Matter :: King/User of Matter (Offensive Ego)
    Fe - Attachment to Spirit/Emotions :: Queen/User of Spirit/Emotions (Offensive Id)
    Si - Detachment from Patterns :: Master/Sage of Presence (Defensive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ni - Detachment from Presence :: Master/Sage of Patterns (Defensive Id-Interpretation)
    Se - Attachment to Presence :: King/User of Presence (Offensive Ego-Interpretation)
    Ne - Attachment to Patterns :: Queen/User of Patterns (Offensive Id-Interpretation)

    *Note my bias against Fi-users.

    Construct (at least psychologically for Humans) of Reality (From Superficial/Top to Deep/Bottom):
    S - Interpretations of T (More open to input)
    T - Interpretations of F (Less open to input)
    F - Interpretations of N (Less open to input)
    N - Pure information (More open to input)

    Translated:
    Bottom level: iNtuition - Pure speculation/information.
    Second level: Feeling - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (N).
    Third level: Thinking - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (F).
    Top level: Sensing - Rationalizations made to utilize the former speculation (S).
    Just look at the blue sky

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by mhc View Post
    hi, i like the way you have used a video game analogy to explain your understanding of mbti
    Hey there.
    It's also pretty interesting to notice that a common symptom of psychosis is that of the world seeming more like a video game.
    I've heard that some psychedelics does the same thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by mhc View Post
    im not sure in which tense the psychosis is in your writing. do you mean you have been, are or expecting to be?
    Episodes + perhaps expecting to be.
    A psychotic breakdown is apparently just to see/notice alot of symbols/meaning to the point of [di]stress.
    Psychosis - that ^ over an extended period of time.
    In other words: an over-active imagination to the point of stress, even though I would argue that the imagination is not what's causing the [di]stress, it's just amplifying... emotional and mind-sensitivity to the point where you're able to notice that you're [di]stressed, and since the Western world has a bias against noticing things to begin with, it decides that the amplification is the problem, when actually more than likely the person has suffered from a lack of freedom, and that the mind is now simply overcompensating to release the feeling of being stuck/controlled emotionally and consciously ("mindly").

    But yeah, I suffer from deep emotional trauma which I've never been allowed to truly speak about to others (to be recognized by others), and my response, being a fairly mindful person, has been to try figure it out for myself (learning about psychology, spiritualism, etc), but even though I've understood the problem for myself now, I fail to convey this understanding to others in a way that they'll understand/accept it, and so I'm still stuck - in a way even more stuck, as hopelessness (a big keyword for psychosis/other serious disorders, I think) is once again creeping up.

    Spoiler: blabla
    And to be clear: I've never had any vivid hallucinations, and no visual hallucinations at all (only distortions).
    Basically what happens is that my mind starts talking without my consent.
    I hear voices of family members in dreams, and recently also while awake when I'm stressed/tired (and recently I become tired faster due to having my emotions more open, which is really a necessity unless I'm gonna explode soon).
    I also hear dark/demonic-like voices, but more infrequent, and I don't remember them saying much; they're just being creepy. This also only happens when I'm tired/towards nighttime or while asleep/waking up and going to sleep again at night.
    Sounds become amplified, especially those that resembles "woowoo" kind of things; sounds that are spirit-like, like "train pipes"(?), kids screams (playing outside + echo from buildings), all the "wavy" kind of sounds becomes scary/associated with "secret meaning".


    Meh, to answer your question: I think the tense is in the fact that I kinda believe there's something to this table. At least when my Ego boundaries are weak ("psychotic"/emotionally vulnerable/sensitive).
    That is: I believe the table actually portrays the deeper motivations within people of the given MBTI types, that there's a truth to the table, and not just a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by mhc View Post
    do you understand that it takes another iNtuitive to understand your explanation of this(luckily you have come to the right place)?:
    Yeah - I don't expect to teach Sensors about the nature of reality xD
    But I understand what you're saying
    I think I have a problem with normalizing my thoughts (Si and Fe?), making my thoughts clear enough, and I also insist internally to only talk about these types of topics that I feel might help me with my condition.
    Like I don't have time to talk about everything/anything else; "my situation's too critical" :P
    = Narcissistic dynamics (common in all mental illness, I believe).
    I can talk and listen to people if they set or help set the parameters of the conversation/relationship up first, but I can't handle normal (undefined) relationships; again with the Si and Fe (bad at following conventions that are not very properly defined, and handle criticism very poorly).

    This has probably been a very gay post.
    I don't care though.
    Hint:
    Last edited by Secretly Insane; 04-16-2014 at 03:51 PM.

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